Now that the new year is finally underway and everyone is talking about "new year, new me." I’m not going to lie to you because that’s just not who I am. I hate that saying because if you see me now you would never guess how rough of a past I’ve had. You’ve always seen my success and achievements but you’ve never seen my struggles and failures.
I always do my best to not let people see my problems because I’ve just always been so independent. I’ve had quite a few problems with my family and social life, physically and mentally I’ve endured just about every problem. I’ve wanted to give up, I’ve cried myself to sleep, I’ve lost friends and family, I’ve had my heart broken and I’ve wanted to walk away from everything.
Now here I stand stronger than ever. Through all my hard times I would never change a thing because everything happens for a reason. When I wanted to give up, my passion only grew stronger. When I cried myself to sleep, the next morning I wiped them off and carried on. When I lost friends and family, I realized who was really there for me. When I had my heart broken, I realized what was really important to me. I’ve had a dark past and made many mistakes but I regret nothing. If I could go back and do it over, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I recently read an old essay of mine from my freshman year in high school. As an honors student, I took a simple assignment about what I believe into a whole new standard. I wrote about a major struggle I had when I was a kid and how I believed that nothing was impossible if you were passionate about what you were doing. My freshman year was a simpler time in my life and that simple assignment really put everything in perspective for me.
So much has changed in one short year and that simple essay sparked a new passion for journalism. Today I’m getting my work published and I owe it all to my freshman English teacher. If I would've never gone through those struggles, then I wouldn’t have been able to write that essay, and I would never be writing for the Odyssey today. I wouldn’t change a thing because everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes I miss the person I used to be but life hits hard sometimes. Although I miss who I use to be, I'm not ashamed of the person I have grown to be. I have my days but, for the most part, I'm getting along just fine. Stuff happens and it's out of my control.
I’m not where I always saw myself as a kid and today I have no idea where I want to be. The thing is I’m perfectly fine with this because I know one day everything will work out. I don’t know when and I don’t want to know when. My everyday struggles make me stronger every single day because they continue to teach me so much about myself. If I never had my past failures, I would never be who I am today. Whenever I got knocked down, I had to learn to just get back up and work that much harder. No matter how many mistakes I have made, I would never change a thing.
As I said in my “I Believe” essay, “It all started from a little girl with a dream and a setback. I didn’t focus my whole life on the setback, never wanted people to feel bad for me and just hand everything to me. I have earned everything that I have received.” The reason I mention this is because of the setback I was talking about made me who I am and everything I have learned is because I was strong enough to endure it. Today I am 1 year older and 365 days stronger. Tomorrow is a new day and it’s never promised but whatever happens, I’ll never change a thing.
