Until I was old enough to do my own hair, I always donned a chin length bob with bangs, that my mother blow-dried perfectly for me every day. And since kids can be cruel, and “Ned’s Declassified” was a thing back in those days, I was often mocked and called the most original insult in the book: “Coconut Head.”

In sixth grade I had enough, I decided to grow my hair out as much as I could but later decided to get bangs in the eighth grade. I then lived in this cycle of long hair with bangs, painfully growing out said bangs, then getting a bob. I did this repeatedly until my senior year of high school.

I broke up with my high school boyfriend and got bangs as a sort of “fresh start” (only I would be dumb enough to try for a fresh start in my last year of high school). This long-haired and bangs style ended up sticking and carrying all the way into my junior year.

A few months ago, my boyfriend of nearly three years broke up with me and to say it rocked my world would be an understatement. On what would have been our three-year anniversary, I took the plunge and cut my boob-length hair to my collarbones I’m still shaky, because a haircut is a starting-point and not a cure-all to heartbreak. However, I can honestly say I have no regrets about the chop itself.

I was truly so apprehensive about the cut leading up to it. I thought my beauty came from my hair. I hated putting it in a ponytail and having a bad hair day. I was scared I would look like some little Dutch boy with a bowl cut because I had been teased for my bob as a kid. I even had a friend with a literal bowl cut who never heard the end of it, from myself included.

Thankfully, I was not disappointed.

My haircut has given me a confidence boost I never knew existed.

I would have never used the word “sexy” to describe myself until after the chop. I love taking time to blow dry it straight, but not as much as I love putting texturizing sprays in it and letting it go wild. It’s as though those four inches of hair I lost also took a sort of insecure skin with them and set me free.

Life is still very much kicking my ass, but my short hair makes me feel like a badass. Sometimes I still wonder “why me?” but more and more I respond to the obstacles in my life by saying “Bring it. I got this.”

A haircut is a small step that can lead to bigger steps and ultimately great destinations. It’s a minor detail that you can control when you feel like everything around you is crashing down and you can’t fix it. And the best part? A wonky dye job can be fixed, and a too-short cut can always grow back. Hair is hair, but its effect on your spirits is far greater than you may realize.