Balance. A concept I've thought about a lot over the years. Something that is important to me to have in the various areas of life.
I tend to be a centered, middle-ground kind of person. When there is a disagreement, I can usually easily and quickly see the pros and cons of both sides, without necessarily condoning one. I think generally in disagreements, both sides typically have good arguments and ideas, but it is often difficult for me to choose a side because I see roughly equal amounts of good and bad in both sides, and I prefer not to decide something unless I know and am confident that it is a good decision. I don't like picking sides, because I generally don't know if the good or the bad in that particular side is stronger.
But this idea of balance also applies to just the way I live my life as a whole. One area I am struggling a bit to find balance, despite what many people think, is when it comes to caring what people think.
On one end of the spectrum, there is the idea of not caring at all what people think. On the other hand, there is the idea of caring so much that you aren't even really living life because you are so concerned with what people think.
I think both extremes are unhealthy. Because you're either insensitive and invalidating the thoughts and opinions of other people, or you're insecure, constantly needing others' approval.
I go back and forth between the two; but my desire is truly to be in the middle. To care enough that I am respectful and kind to others, but to not care so much that I question my every action, word, thought, or feeling because of what others may think.
Balance is hard. But it is healthy. I have to remind myself that getting to the "happy middle" will take time, it is not simply an overnight process.
My prayer and hope is that, for anyone who may be in the same boat--whether you consistently find yourself at one end of the spectrum or if you are more like me, going back and forth--that you would be able to be at rest as you figure out how to be more balanced. I know it is difficult; but that doesn't mean it's impossible. It is ultimately a good thing.
