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How To Celebrate Labor Day The Right Way

Make that day off from school REALLY count!

Madelyn Casale

Sep 05, 2017

Fordham University

How To Celebrate Labor Day The Right Way

Steve Krivda

"There are no days off"

-Confucius, probably

Do you think that Labor Day is just a nice title for a one-day holiday, an excuse to lay in bed watching Netflix and eating soup all day? Well, think again, buster, because my mama always told me that Labor Day is a very special day, and so, in her honor, I would like to share the true meaning of Labor Day with you all, and give you tips on how to spend yours the right way.

OKAY!

Labor Day first became an American federal holiday in 1894; this marked the first day in history that anyone had ever worked. Indeed, on the first Monday of September, 1894, God began molding the universe and all of life. To recognize and honor the first true day of work ever, Labor Day was created. This means that every year, people are given the day off from all work, school, and responsibilities. This usually leads to people staying inside lazing about all day, mothers and fathers ditching their children by dropping them off on the side of the road (please tell me this happened to you, too) for 24 hours straight, and all morals being thrown out the window for an entire day. Yes, we all know Labor Day to be a time of mayhem and sodomy, but this can change!

You see, the best way to spend your Labor Day, the RIGHT way to spend it, is at work. Shock your bosses, surprise your teachers, take care of your babies. Because you know what? As Confucius once said, "There are no days off! #JustDoIt #BallIsLife #Blessed;" I think we can all agree with and relate to that poignant message.

There are truly no days off.

Thanksgiving: In the office. Your family will understand.

Christmas: In the office. Jesus will forgive you.

Your Birthday: In the office. What better gift is there than the joy of hard, painstaking, work?

Labor Day is no different. It ain't called "Rest Day" for a reason, people. So today, if you're reading this in your PJs and you're all snug in your bed, stop being such a lazy lump and get to work ASAP! You'll thank me later.

Happy Labor Day, everyone!!!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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How To Celebrate Labor Day The Right Way

Make that day off from school REALLY count!

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

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