I have always been a bigger woman. I was not significantly larger than my peers, but I was definitely heavier than the other students in my school and my teammates in the various activities that I participated in. This made me feel insecure, and I did not feel comfortable with my body. I felt like other people were staring, judging me for being bigger. I was terrified! I did not want to be judged for what I looked like on the outside because there was so much that I could offer from the inside, the things that you could not see through my thick thighs or round tummy.
After I graduated high school, I gained a significant amount of weight. I was not eating right. I used my busy schedule as an excuse to not exercise, and when I did have free time, I was “too tired” or just did not feel like it. I was not sleeping well. I was staying up late, waking up early to go to class, and my sleep schedule was inconsistent. I bared the weight of the different levels of stress that I fought through. That weight gain destroyed me. It was all I could ever think about. I fixated on it. Nothing else mattered to me. I justed wanted to lose the weight. I wanted to look like everybody else. I wanted to be able to wear a bikini on the beach and show off my flat tummy in a crop top.
Even today, I have days where I feel insecure. I continue to dream of losing weight and becoming a healthier me, but I am learning to come to terms with what my body looked like. I am trying my hardest to celebrate my body instead of criticizing it. Everybody’s body is special. It deserves to be loved and nurtured, not hated and harmed. I am aware of the difficulties that some people have with loving their bodies. I can honestly say I am not surprised. In the society we live in, we glorify celebrities with fit bodies, toned buttocks, muscular arms, etc. Society has set a standard for what human body should look like. We fall into this trap, believing that the body we have is unacceptable, but in reality, our bodies are not just acceptable, they are exceptional.
Instead of criticizing and punishing our bodies, let’s glorify them. We must honor our bodies, whether we are feeling confident or not. A simple act, such as applying lotion or moisturizer to the skin around our “trouble areas” can make the difference between feel confident and comfortable and feeling disappointed with our appearance.
Our bodies should be celebrated. Ignore those celebrity magazines that spread hate. Ignore those nasty people who criticize because you do not look them. Celebrate your body. Your body is beautiful, whether your tummy is a little round, your booty is flat, or your chest is flat. No matter what others say, show your body some love.
