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12 Reasons Why Cats Rule And Kids Drool (Even If The Cat Technically Drools Too)

I am prepared to fight you on this.

Talie Cederwall

Jun 17, 2018

Bowling Green State University

https://www.pexels.com/photo/blur-care-cat-close-up-569170/

Cats have been a popular subject for memes since memes became popular. Felines fill our lives with hours of entertainment and connect us through the power of the internet. There are myriad reasons why people adore cats. By the same token, children provide us with many reasons to dislike them. The two are not mutually exclusive, of course.

You can like children AND cats, but you're wrong. Cats are just better, folks, and here's why.

1. Cats are queens/kings of independence

You don't have to wipe their butts or submit to their every need. Give cats food, water, a clean litter box, and some love and they're good to go.

2. Children are nasty flesh bags of disease

You may have to clean up a hairball that your cat has vomited but they won't sneeze into your mouth and give you the flu. I cringe every time I see a child cough without covering his/her mouth.

3. Cats love to tell you about their day

If your cat is particularly vocal, they'll give you the rundown of what happened while you were at work or school. Ask kids about what they did/learned today and get the vague "I don't know."

4. Children can be rude as heck

They have no filter and maybe that's not their fault. Cats can't tell you that they think you're fat/ugly/etc.

5. Cats give the best back rubs

When they're kneading dough/making biscuits, you might get lucky and they'll do it on your back/butt/legs. Try asking your kids for a back rub and see what happens.

6. Children ruin most experiences for the public

How many times have you been at a restaurant, store, movie theatre, or literally anywhere and a child has been screaming, crying, yelling, being generally obnoxious? Probably at least once a week. How many times has a cat ruined your day out at Target? That's right: never.

7. Cats are cuter than babies, let's be real

All babies look the same. Have you seen an ugly cat? I haven't. Even if they're deformed or "ugly," they're still outrageously adorable.

8. Children are an 18+ year investment

Cats already cost less than children, but your cat isn't going to call you at college asking for money.

9. Cats don't need to eat all of their food with ketchup or ranch

Children are such picky eaters. Cats eat their food without (much of) a complaint.

10. Children need constant attention and stimulation

I'm guessing this is why I always see disinterested parents giving their kids iPads to play with rather than talking to them.

11. Cats don't need rides everywhere

They're content with just relaxing with you on the sofa while you binge Netflix.

12. Children never want to sleep at night

Cats are nocturnal, but they will definitely be taking an afternoon nap right next to you.

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Recommended for you

12 Reasons Why Cats Rule And Kids Drool (Even If The Cat Technically Drools Too)

I am prepared to fight you on this.

1. Cats are queens/kings of independence

2. Children are nasty flesh bags of disease

3. Cats love to tell you about their day

4. Children can be rude as heck

5. Cats give the best back rubs

6. Children ruin most experiences for the public

7. Cats are cuter than babies, let's be real

8. Children are an 18+ year investment

9. Cats don't need to eat all of their food with ketchup or ranch

10. Children need constant attention and stimulation

11. Cats don't need rides everywhere

12. Children never want to sleep at night

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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