Once a year we all gather in a Holy place and give thanks to God. Let us now bow our heads and thank the Lord that we can indulge in whatever we gave up for the last 40 days.
Oh, Holy day, Lent is over and it's time for pastel colored dresses, brunch and an afternoon filled with my grandmother asking me why I'm still single.
We face these struggles once a year and for you Christers (Christmas and Easter) or CEO's (Christmas and Easter Only) a message to you : Stop taking the regulars seats and crowding the church.
1. Waking up at early
You're used to college. Let me be, mom and dad. I don't care if Timmy wants to look for our baskets.
2. Fighting for a seat
Ok, I know all you fools don't come here every Sunday aka Christmas and Easter people only.
3. Looking Presentable
Either you're hungover from last night, your clothes are too slutty for Jesus, or you just don't care about makeup at this hour.
4. Smile for the camera
All the family is together which means your mom/grandma/aunt/uncle all want pictures to fill their scrapbooks for when they're old and can't remember.
5. Just say 'Yes'
"Yes," to you having a love life. Yes to landing a summer internship. Yes to another mimosa.
6. The 40 days of nothing
You have survived Lent so please indulge in chocolate, pop, french fries, social media or anything else the devil would promote.
7. Church is a reunion
Seeing everybody and their brother you ever went to school with. Yes, boys, I look this good now.
8. Hugs, and more hugs
You would think you are the one returning from the desert the way your family hugs you every 20 seconds.
9. Egg Hunt
No matter how old you get, you are a sucker for egg hunts. You push your little cousin out of the way and hide the eggs so hard so only you can find them.