A trend that I've been noticing amongst my peers is this idea that having some sort of emotional connection or bond with a person--i.e "catching feels"--is more or less a disease that should be avoided by all costs lest they succumb to the treacherous fates of awkwardness and disappointment. While I understand why one would be hesitant to approach the realms of awkwardness and disappointment (it's human nature, after all) I can't see any rationale behind outright rejecting an otherwise fundamental lesson in emotional health and coping skills. Personally, I welcome all emotions regardless if I see them as positive or negative. Allow me to explain my point-of-view a bit:

The way I see it, the typical person will, throughout their entire lives, experience events or instances that inflict some sort of emotional impact on them. You win your school's talent show: you're flying high on cloud nine and feel like a million bucks. Your childhood pet passes away: you are deeply saddened by such a loss but either learn first hand or are reminded of the circle of live and that these things happen, have always happened, and will always happen. That's just how it is. Pretty grim example, yes, but it gets my point across.

Now let's move on to a more directly applicable instance. Lets say you've started talking to an individual that catches your fancy. How about that, you catch their fancy too! Rad! So you keep talking and one things leads to several other things and you end up in a friends with benefits situation. Cool, you have someone you can hang out with and also hook up with. Now, lets say after some time getting to know each other you start developing something more than their looks or how chill they are. You start enjoying their smile, they way the laugh, how thoughtful about others they are and oh my god you're now catching feels. Okay, for real though, don't panic. Deep breaths. This can actually be a really good thing. You probably have a really great reason for developing real feelings for this individual. You find them great and enjoy them for more than sex or hanging out. Chances are good that they feel the same way about you.

Here lies the perceived trap of awkwardness: Do you act on your emotional desire to be more than friends (with benefits) with this person? Do you keep your mouth shut and stew in indecision and thought? Well let me tell you how I see approach this issue. If I am in a position where I would like to have an emotional relationship with someone (which is usually if not always the case for me) then I see it as an opportunity to open myself up to another person, in the hopes that they may feel the same way, and be completely honest about them. I don't give any sort of ultimatums or anything like that, but I let them know what is going on with me because I respect them enough to do so. I think it's only fair to be up-front about out if you're not great at hiding your emotions like I am. Chances are they also find this situation awkward, and if you can break the ice and take initiative on the conversation it helps alleviate some of that, at least in my experience. Does that leave me vulnerable? Oh course it does. Am I scared? Probably a little. I consider this a gamble in which it's mostly low-risk, high-reward. In the case of the gamble paying off, the friends with benefits relationship has now morphed into something more than that. Maybe not necessarily full-on going steady dating, but something more emotionally evolving and intimate than that. Awesome! Best case scenario.

But let's say the gamble doesn't pay off. In that instance, you could talk it over, mutually decide what you have going currently is the best for all parties involved, and continue with that. Maybe it's not the most favorable for you in that scenario, maybe it is. Yes you will have an awkward hiccup in your relationship with that person, but it's being able to get through the awkwardness without thinking too much about it and building it up more than it needs to be. I've always found that awkward situations are only as awkward as the person who finds it the most awkward makes it, almost like an inverse of the weakest link analogy. As long as you focus on the matter at hand and not the "oh my god I can't believe we're doing this right now this is so weird" factor than you'll get through it just fine.

Maybe in that instance, however, things don't go right at all. Maybe you get completely rejected and the relationship ends. While that is a bummer than brings about tons of reactionary feelings, most of which are pretty negative, what I derive from it most is a learning experience. From every bad thing that happens in my life I try to rationally think of the turn of events and the consequences of them, learn from it, and then use that knowledge to better decide my future actions. And these lessons aren't things like "people are jerks and I will never be happy or not single," but lessons like "not everyone feels the same way about me that I do about them, so I have to realize that" or "not everyone is into relationships or is in a current place in their lives where one would be a good idea, so I have to remember and respect that." Plus, rejection is not the worst thing in the world. You can't blame someone for not being into you as much as you can be blamed from not being into someone else. That shouldn't discourage you from declaring yourself forever alone. Hell, I'm not into most people to be honest. A lot of times I can't find people I attracted to beyond a cursory "yeah, you're pretty hot but who cares?" reaction. I digress. My point is to no let rejection halt your efforts. Respectfully accept that this current interaction is at an end and prepare to begin again.

So while shying away from feelings because they are annoying/scary/inconvenient is a natural fight-or-flight type response, I highly encourage you to embrace these feelings, however weird they seem, get to know them. Understand why you feel that way and process it. By the way, this is all coming from someone who is knee-deep in awkward situations and sad emotions at any given moment. I have to say, while I don't experience happiness a ton, the happiness I do experience is absolutely sublime. I appreciate everything more because I don't try to mute my feeling about them. Embrace the sadness and anger and fear, appreciate the happiness and passion and the possibilities.