I know ladies. Summer is no longer crawling, it is now walking and probably running up to us. Sadly, as summer comes, the catcallers come out and you know it is time to play the Silence Game or the “If You Talk, Breathe, or Touch, We Are Going To Have A War. ” Regardless of what you wear, there is the one guy that demands you smile, and the other one that has to assert his idolization of you or a body part of yours. Catcalling, also known as street harassment, is a huge annoyance for the majority of women and some want to make it illegal, but are they overreacting?
The question is: what is catcalling really and when do we call it catcalling? The definition of catcalling is to try to get a woman's attention in a sexual way, whether it is through whistling or commenting. It seems, however, that catcalling may have more definitions than we thought. This is where the double standard of catcalling comes in. My teacher told me a story of a woman who was disgusted when spoken to by a man she didn’t find attractive, and according to my teacher, it was a compliment. Later, Jared Leto approached the same woman and catcalled her. My teacher recalled him saying some really degrading and highly sexual statements to her, but the woman stood there and laughed and blushed. Is it a compliment only if it comes from someone attractive, or should it not matter? As a person who gets catcalled from time to time, I find it annoying, but if it is by someone I find attractive, I notice that I am more hesitant to get annoyed.
Also, in some cases where someone claims that they are being catcalled, they are actually being complimented. In 2015, there was a viral video depicting a woman who was being catcalled as she walked around New York City for 10 hours. In the comment section of the video people debated on whether or not the entire video was completely filled with actual catcalls. A lot of male commenters claimed that she was being complimented, but other people said that it was catcalling because it was unwanted attention. In my opinion, most of the video was filled with catcalls especially when a man literally followed her waiting for a response. Compliments are polite and the only time it could be considered catcalling is when the person who gives the compliment could not leave the woman alone after they said what they had to say. It is OK to call someone pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, and cute, but if it is followed up by, “Hey, you should say thank you,” or the person is badgered by the catcaller, then it becomes inappropriate.
People compliment all the time. There were instances where I would walk with my family and we would compliment someone whether we said, “Nice pants,” “I like your hair, ma'am,” or “You’re so pretty/beautiful,” and the people would usually say thank you. This also made me think that the gender of the person making the comment in a way determines whether or not a person thinks they are being catcalled. One time I was walking by a group of teens and one of the girls said, “Pretty girl” and I was more surprised by the comment, then I eventually smiled because it made me feel good. When men would say things like, “Black is beautiful,” “Beautiful,” and “I like the way you are wearing that hat,” I would hiss my teeth, roll my eyes and mumble under my breath. There is a very thin line between catcalling and complimenting and the reason why some may hiss their teeth when a male talks to them is because the man is seen as trying to make sexual advances and he therefore becomes a threat unless you also find him attractive.
In the end what makes something a compliment is a compliment; it is expecting praise and admiration whether the person admires your face, your choice of clothing, or your confidence. It is a catcall when the person has sexual advances; if the person is whistling or saying, “You gonna get f*cked tonight,” they are not complimenting you, they are catcalling. My tip is if you don’t know if the person is catcalling you, just say thank you and move on. Thank you is enough to shut most of them up.
