At least half of the time spent with our pets is us wondering what exactly they’re thinking and why they do what they do. Let’s face it -- our pets are weird. My cat likes to chitter at the ceiling fan whenever I turn it on despite the fact she knows that it hasn’t left the ceiling every other time I’ve turned it on. Does she think it’s alive? Does she think she can somehow catch it? Is she telling it her secrets? Who knows…I sure as heck don’t.

As much as we think our pets do some weird things and we wonder what the thought process is behind it, I feel like our pets are probably just as confused at what we do. These are some of the thought I think my cat (Persephone) has about some of the things I do.

Where does mom go all day? Does she not know I’m at home waiting to play and nap with her? I think she’s living a double life. What if she has another house with another cat?! She does always come home smelling like a bunch of other cats ... She claims it’s because of work but who even knows what the truth is at this point. All I know is, if I find out she does have another cat in secret, the claws will come out so fast the furniture won’t even know what hit ‘em!

Why does my mom dig through my potty and steal my poops at the end of the day? Why does she want them? Where does she take them in that baggy?

Why does mom always want to touch my tummy? It’s just a tummy but she acts like it’s the best thing she’s ever seen! Sometimes I roll on my back just to see that silly face she makes when she sees it.

Why is mom ALWAYS watching the same stuff over and over again? I mean, the least she could do is play a couple of bird documentaries a day for me, but nope. All I ever see is SVU and Bob’s Burgers and It’s Always Sunny. The girl needs to mix things up a little! I think I’m going to go crazy if I hear the SVU theme song one more time.

Why does mom go in that scary rain machine in the bathroom? Does she not know that that’s WATER coming out?! She always comes out smelling funny so I have to rub myself on her legs so she smells a little more normal. Maybe she likes torturing herself (I mean, to each his own). What a weirdo.

Plus, I NEVER see her cleaning herself! I try to teach her by licking her face and her arms every once in awhile but she doesn’t seem to be getting it. It’s getting pretty gross, does she not care about her hygiene? Maybe she doesn’t think she needs to lick and clean herself because she doesn’t have a lot of hair to clean but still.

Mom eats really weird food, too. I don’t know if it’s that she can only afford fancy feast for one of us so she lets me have it and she eats the weird food, but I’d share if she wanted! She always lets me smell it but I never want to eat it. If it didn't come in a can, this gal isn't eating it!

So there you have it. These are just some of the things I think goes through my cat’s head on a daily basis. Until we develop animal mind reading technology, though, we may never actually know. All I know is, my cat definitely thinks I’m a total freak.