So, my family and I rescued a cat recently. His name is Lucas and he likes to drink from the faucet in the bathroom and sleep on my bed. He has since adopted various names such as, Zippy, Stinky, The Cat, The Stupid Cat, Zippy the Mountain Lion and “Get out of the bathroom.” When he first came to our house he spent a couple hours hissing under my parents’ bed, but he has since emerged from his hiding spot and opted for other convenient places around the house, like the bathtub, the end of my bed, various spots on the floor, preferably in high traffic areas where he is definitely in the way. Anyway, he’s a big weirdo and we love him.
I’ve always been a cat person. I like dogs, don’t get me wrong, but cats just get me. People always assume they’re judgmental and mean but they’re actually just really weird. Dogs are like that one friend you have who’s a super extrovert; they’re fun but after a few hours you have to sit alone in a dark room and recharge. I lived with a cat last year that belonged to my housemates. This cat was like my best friend. Always slept on my bed and meowed outside my bedroom door. The first thing I realized upon having a cat of my own, is that being a cat mom is totally different than being a cat aunt. When I was just a cat aunt (a c-aunt?) all I had to do was fill the food and water bowls if I happened to see that they were empty and play with the little guy. I’m not calling myself a cat mom, I’m more like a cat big sister, but there’s a significant difference when you’re just a live in cat sitter to actually having to find a cat sitter.
Messes:
Cat mom: Have to deal with all the gross stuff. Cleaning out the litter box, which stinks. You find yourself asking the cat, “Why do you poop so much?” You will not get an answer. Cleaning up the vomit, which also stinks. Feeding him the wet food, which is the worst stink of all.
Cat aunt: All the benefits of having a cat, without any of the gross stuff. Litter box what? You do end up cleaning the vomit though, especially when the cat vomits in your room. And on your rug. And on your bed.
Overall love measurement:
Cat mom: You are the most important person in the cat’s world. You’re the center of their universe.
Cat aunt: The cat loves you but loves someone else more.
Money:
Cat mom: You drop absurd amounts of money on this animal. Vet bills, litter, food, toys, expensive water dishes that look like fountains so the cat will stop drinking out of the sink (Lucas’s fountain should be arriving soon), and realizing how little litter is actually in the Arm & Hammer box for the amount that you paid for it.
Cat aunt: A non-issue. “I got you this toy at the dollar store and also here’s a plastic bag that I turned into a ball for you. Let’s play fetch.”
Talking to the cat:
Cat mom: “Hey, asshole.”
Cat aunt: “Hey, asshole.”
Fights:
Cat mom: When the cat shows any kind of negative attitude towards you it immediately sets off a million concerns about whether or not the cat hates you and how they'll never speak to you again
Cat aunt: When the cat hisses or swats at you, you don't take it too personally. You can just say, "WTF, dude." And walk away.
Cuteness level:
Cat mom: Thinks the cat is the cutest most beautiful most handsome cat on the face of the Earth and tells the cat so, but in a ridiculous cat voice that makes you sound like you’re talking to a giant baby.
Cat aunt: Thinks the cat is very cute and when telling the cat says, “Hey, cat. You’re so cute.”
Social media:
Cat mom: Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook are all cat, all the time.
Cat aunt: Puts the cat in their Snapchat story.
Goodbyes:
Cat mom: You’re stuck with the cat. But, with the poop (and there is a lot of it), the vomit, and drinking out of the bathtub, you can’t imagine your home without them.
Cat aunt: Have to eventually say goodbye to your furry friend.
