Hey “friend,”
Or do even call you that now? I mean, we haven’t spoken in, according to friendship terms, a very, very long time. It’s hard to say if that qualifies this friendship to be over. I’m not completely sure how the rules go, since we didn’t have a huge falling out or a mutual agreement that this friendship would cease to exist. But, for the sake of time and energy, we’ll just label ourselves as, for now, acquaintances, people who are friendly with each other if they ever happen to run into each other once in a blue moon. If we are being honest, though, I’m not even sure if I would go out of my way to say, “Hello,” to you if I were to see you again. Let me explain.
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We used to be as thick as thieves, glued to the hip, everyone would mention one of us and quickly follow with the others name in a conversation. Now, however, you feel like a stranger. During the rare occasions that someone will ask me how you are doing, my answer now is, “I’m not sure, we don’t talk much.” You can probably imagine the look of surprise when I tell people that, because that’s how strong and prevalent our friendship was to everyone. And while I used to be very sad about our fading friendship, it also gave me a chance to reexamine. While the majority of everything was good on the outside, it was time to maybe look at the bad. The times where maybe being friends with each other was a little too toxic, where, at least I, was in a place that I didn’t need to be. Perhaps you saw it too, perhaps we both realized that this was a friendship that was just not worth fighting for, although I felt that I needed to at least try fighting at first. The last time we met, however, sealed the deal for me and confirmed what I should have already known—we are just two very different people on two very different life paths, and that is okay.
But the point of this letter was to not dissect our friendship and call out all the bad in it. I just wanted to let you know, in case you were ever wondering, that I’m doing just fine. In case you ever are too afraid to text or call and ask how my life is going, it’s going pretty well considering all the life throws our way. I am in a good place right now, happier than I thought I would be actually. For a very long time I thought I needed you as a friend to make me happy, but I have grown up to learn that friends come and go and no one is the definition of your happiness, you yourself are. And yes, I get sad sometimes when I think about how close we used to be, when I see something in a magazine or on the street that makes me think of you or one of our inside jokes, but I don’t let that control my life or ruin my day. That’s life, and we all have to live it. I’m doing fine, and I’m sure you’re doing fine too.
