We all make an effort to be, what we call, our own person. But between social media, family, and friends, how are we supposed to do that?

Although we can try to be our own person, every one of us will be influenced by someone in our lives that effects who we were, who we are, and who we strive to be.

Selena Gomez once said in an interview: “You are who you surround yourself with.” The people around you are a direct influence on who you are and what your interests are. When you are little, you make friends who are similar to you, physically. You make friends who are girls if you are a girl. You make friends with boys if you are a boy. You make friends who play soccer with you. As a child, you see all people as being equal, and you assume that everyone has the same dreams and hopes as you do. But as you grow older, you soon realize that is the farthest from the truth.

When you are a young adult, you learn who you are and where you want to be in the future; but everyone lives on their own agenda. Some people want to go to college, some may want to join the military, and some may even decide that neither of those options are for them. This is where it is important for you to find friends with similar agendas to yours. As your peers also start to decide how they want their lives to continue, you hear about their choices and why they chose them. You then start to be convinced by those choices, even if they weren’t what you originally wanted.

For example, say that you eat both meat and vegetables, but your friends have decided to go on a vegan diet. At first, you may defy what your friends are doing. But as you start to hang out with them frequently while they eat this vegan diet, you start to think that maybe it wouldn’t be that bad and hey, you need to start eating a little healthier anyway, right? So you conform.

Conform: a verb used in the English language to describe a person who behaves according to socially acceptable conventions or standards. But that’s the entire problem: it changes what a person holds as morally right to what society believes as acceptable. Conforming changes the beliefs and ideals that a person holds close to their heart, and makes them believe in others, rather than themselves. Sometimes, this conforming could be for the better, but it also could be for the worse. Although eating healthier with friends may be seen as a good thing, conforming to other behaviors such as drug use, excessive drinking, etc. are not good behaviors.

This is why it is so important for people to realize who they surround themselves with. No one can be outstanding alone. But you can be outstanding with outstanding people beside you. If you surround yourself with people who strive for the same things that you do, you will be unstoppable together. Surrounding yourself with people who believe in achievement, courage, fearlessness, and optimism makes you believe in these things too, thus bettering yourself as you achieve greatness and reach your goals. These kinds of people will be the ones to pick you up when you’re down, brush you off, and keep you focused on the task at hand. Every great success story involves someone who never gave up, and these people make sure that you do just that-never give up.

As you believe in these ideals as well, you give this personality off to others, and you help your current peers keep their personalities that way as well. This creates a never-ending cycle of success and keeps all of you in check even when times get rough.

So whether this article makes you thankful for the friends you have, or makes you decide that you need a change, make sure you surround yourself with people are genuine and positive to keep you the same way.