It took me a long time to realize that it was okay to put myself first.

Learning to put myself first is one of the most rewarding things that I have ever done. It does not mean that I only think about myself, but it means that I am able to recognize when I need to remove myself from a situation that is harming me. I spent years bending over backwards for people who gave little in return, and while I also had many positive and wonderful people in my life, it left me drained and unhappy. The personal fulfillment of doing something nice for others does not negate the discomfort that you feel, the way you have to constantly brush off passive-aggressive comments, and the emotional toll on your personal happiness. As the year begins to wind down, I suggest that we all set aside a little extra time for ourselves, so we can all stay positive and stress-free during mid-terms and holidays.

As a freshman in college, being surrounded by so many new people can have a huge effect on how you see yourself and the world. With thousands of new perspectives and personalities to get to know, it is easy to lose yourself in the shuffle. For the first few weeks I was swept up in excitement of classes and new friends and a new place, but as I began to settle in, I found myself in situations where I just was not comfortable. I thought, maybe this is just what college is like, but as I branched out and met new people, I began to realize that I had the power to choose what kind of environment I wanted to surround myself with. College offers a chance to find the best version of yourself, and starting off on the wrong foot does not mean that you have to stay there. Your personality is a combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with, so make sure that those 5 people are ones that you would be happy to emulate.

As the year winds down, take stock of the people you have in your life and make sure that all of your relationships are symbiotic. At the end of the day, what matters most is how you feel about yourself and the decisions you have made. The best thing you can do is surround yourself with people that make you happy and that you feel like you can be yourself around. In college especially, its easy to slip into becoming someone you don’t recognize as a result of hanging out with new people. This can be a good thing if you genuinely respect and enjoy the people you hang out with, but if one day you find yourself making bad decisions you wouldn’t normally make, sit down and think of how you’re being affected by those around you. It is important to create and cultivate relationships with other people, but it is also okay to put yourself first. It's not selfish and it's not mean, it is responsible- and your present and future self will thank you for it.