This week has been a hard week for me. It's hard when life gives you a situation in which you're powerless to do anything about it right away. You have to wait, and waiting is hard. Throughout this week I haven't known how to feel or what to feel. My emotions have been all over the place. And, quite frankly, every time I've tried to cry about it I haven't been able to.
I just keep asking myself why, over and over again. However, I don't have any answer. Sometimes, we're just thrown into situations, and there's no answer. It sucks, but there's nothing we can do about it. I just have to keep reminding myself that God's in control, and everything will work out in accordance to His plan.
Honestly, even writing this article is hard. I can't talk about what's really going on in my life. All I can really say is that it's a hard situation that I wouldn't want anyone to have to deal with. I started this article so many different times, trying to put my thoughts together. I've been trying to figure out a way to say what I feel without giving too much information when I wish I could give more. Sometimes, expressing yourself just seems impossible.
This tough situation is quite literally all that I have been able to think about this week, inside or outside of class. My focus maybe shifted away from it for a moment, but that's it. I can't tell you how many times I've caught myself staring off into space. All I can think about and ask myself is: WHY? I know I said that before; but, I'm telling you, that question just keeps popping up. I want to cry every second of every day, and I can't. Not being able to cry is, quite possibly, one of the worst feelings in the world.
I know life doesn't get any better, but I'd like to hope that it does. I'd like to make myself always have the assurance that everything will work out, but right now I just cannot see the bigger picture. God continues to encourage me through my mother and my friends, and I know He's there. It's just hard. It's hard to feel. It's hard to know. But, I know everything will work out. How do I know that? This verse says it all:
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
