How often do you find yourself in class, hanging out with friends, or in front of a large group when someone decides to put you on the spot? Or better yet how many times have you been given an opportunity to show a skill, tell a story, or try something new in front of people and you didn’t take it? For most people that fear is very alive, but while your friend may get up and always be the one to try something, you feel like the cliché who is too scared of what others may think. The truth is that you alone are keeping yourself from standing up and giving it a try.

Stop prompting everyone for something horrible.

When you get the urge to try something you weigh the risks. You decide you’re not good enough and all swag drops from your body, making you even more awkward when declining or carrying out the task. When people use defeating language to prompt everyone for what they are about to see, they often look even more ridiculous. When you talk like this, saying things like “I can't do this,” “this is stupid but” or “I’m really bad at this” not only does it set you up for failure, but gives people low expectations. You may think this will help your cause but I assure you it will not. Now people are expecting a poor performance and are more focused on every little mistake you make. You have probably noticed this before, you're sitting in class and a classmate goes up to give a speech. Before they start they say “I’m sorry, it’s not very good and I’m really bad with speeches.” then go on into their introduction. Now the audience is preparing to listen to a poorly done speech, taking note of every “umm” and pause in their presentation. Hold your tongue, you are defeating yourself. Be bold and don’t let your worries get in the way of doing your very best. Before you do something, just try it; good or bad, you won’t look as bad as you would have with a defeating introduction.

Stop using “I can’t pull that off” as an excuse not to try.

Learning to be confident in your own skin is different for every individual. Sometimes it can take time to learn how to be confident, and to others, it’s just who they are. Usually, when a person does something daring they are confident in it, which leads us to think “Wow! They can really pull that off”. You may say to yourself “I could never pull off that… Hairstyle, lipstick, outfit, etc.” But what reasoning do you have to think that way? Your biggest enemy is you, so don’t let your own negativity get the best of you. Have confidence and be comfortable with who you are. Being you and standing out is applauded, and who knows, you may start a trend. When you have confidence people recognize it. Knowing yourself and loving who you are is the best way to obtain positive confidence. Don’t let others opinions get in the way of you being you. Don’t live for this world’s approval, with the right attitude and knowing who you are, you can pull off anything!

Stop thinking you wouldn’t be good at something before you give it an honest try.

Playing a sport, doing art, performing in front of a crowd, or any other activity you may have never given a shot, I encourage you to give it a try as opportunities present themselves. It’s so easy for us to talk ourselves out of it when it comes to trying something new. The biggest reason for this is we don’t want to fail in front of others or “look dumb”. Our mindset is to play it safe and just watch, but it’s the wrong mindset to have. You could be really good at something and never know because you never wanted to try it out. You may regret not taking those opportunities later on in life or experience something new and wish you would’ve tried it sooner. So give it a try! The worst thing that could happen is you find out it’s not for you. Don’t let your fear get in the way.

Think about it this way. Everyone is always more embarrassed to be the one who dealt it. But when you’re the one who smelt it you would rather laugh about it then judge someone for his or her flatulence. Put aside your defeating thoughts and words and live your life doing the things you have always wanted to try. When you see someone who seems fearless and confident do not wish you could be like them. Stand up because your hella cool and put on that red lipstick, try your hand at painting, sing karaoke in front of your friends (even when you know your singing voice borders on the side of horrible). Be authentically you, and don’t let your own thoughts make you insecure.