It's something we all deal with on a daily basis. It's the hardest thing in the world. "Forgive and forget" most say. Some say "forgive but never forget." I say "don't forgive and definitely don't forget." Or at least that's what I want to say.
If you did me wrong then I don't owe you anything, and I certainly don't owe you my forgiveness for what you did. That's my feeling on that, point-blank. And the only thing that's worse than someone begging for your forgiveness, is somebody that isn't. That hurts like hell and I really can't think of anything worse if we're being honest. I never really knew how strong I could be until I had to forgive somebody who wasn't sorry and accept an apology that I never received. Of course it was hard, but what would have been even harder would be living the rest of my life angry at that person. Because for the short period of time that I did live in anger, it was like I was being repeatedly stabbed in the back. The hurt wouldn't disappear because I kept holding onto it so I was the one driving the knife over and over.
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And yet even after I swear I won't forgive someone, I find a way too. Because what I learned is that you can be selfish. You can forgive in a selfish way. And what I mean by this is that you can choose forgiveness for the sake of you. Choose forgiveness so you can have a sense of clarity and peace. Because in my world, a grudge could last forever and anger has no end. And for those reasons alone, forgiveness has to happen, even if I do it solely for myself. But that doesn't make it any easier to forgive someone for what they did. What I constantly try to remember is that forgiving someone doesn't imply that what they did was right, or even OK. It just means that you aren't going to let what they did ruin your own happiness.
