It was only yesterday, everyone was receiving their permits during the summer of 9th grade. I was still trying to beat my sister to call 'shotgun' in my moms Mitsubishi. It actually wasn't until 10th grade that I received my permit. Which I got on my first try, might I add. And then my drivers test left me traumatized (for life probably).

My mom let me drive here and there...barely. She would always complain that she's too tired and wants to get home fast, basically alluding to the fact that I drive 'slow'. My dad always claims that I would be too busy during high school to take time for him to 'teach me'.

I can count on one hand the amount of times my mother has ever let me drive. Once, when I went on a picnic with my friends (in which she called me after like three hours to hurry me back home). Again, when I drove from my school to her job (which was right across the street). And then again, when I drove back home from visiting my sister at college (in which she waited until we were like 15 minutes from home). Oh, can't forget about that time when she let me drive to the Walmart up from our house, only for us to switch places before I even got on the main road. My dad letting me drive...oh that has never happened.

Have I tried driving lessons? Well of course, and that is why I have PTSD to this day. What had happened was, I took a week or two worth of lessons with an instructor through this driving company. He was the absolute greatest. I had a couple of little hiccups but overall I was pretty decent. And then the day came and it all went sour!

I just got my hair braided because I wanted my license picture to be cute. My dad drove me to the company, he waits in his truck while I walk in all happy go lucky. The official instructor and myself get into the test car. I back out of the park and begin my test. It's super awkward! There was no talking and no music. My instructor always played music as a form of distraction, and it just seemed to help me relax. We go up this hill and then there's a stop sign. My dumb self breaks with my left foot. From then on, it all went bad. I stopped in the middle of the road to let a car pass me, even though I had the right away. I was driving under the speed limit at times. It was so bad, that the official instructor didn't even give me the chance to parallel park or three point turn.

He just told me to pull back into the company. He then proceeded to get out of the car and just told my dad "She's not ready" and walked back into his office. I cried something serious that day. I cried all the way from driving school to my dad's house, then to my mom's house. To say I was upset was just an understatement. As a result, I went through my entire senior year of high school without driving or a license. I just feel like the man was so mean to me that every time I get behind the wheel, my mind drifts to that day and I freak out.

Being behind the wheel literally scares me death! I always feel like I'm going to crash. Or I have a horrible nightmare about not being able to stop the car. And of course, being a college freshman, cars aren't allowed on campus anyway. So will I ever drive or at least get my license? The world may never know.