Recently in my life, there have been more people than necessary, that I deeply love and care about get diagnosed with cancer. And I know that I'm not the only one who has had to experience a loved one hear that hideous, awful, disgusting word. I hope in reading this article, all of you can get some sort of relief. There are no words to describe this feeling that we all are feeling right now. I know this is just a small act in the large world, but I am hoping it helps some people find peace inside of them. So here are some tips for being supportive when people you love are diagnosed:
1. Listen
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This is often a challenge when a loved one faces a serious illness like this. Try to listen without judging and without always trying to be overly positive. It might be tempting to say “You will be fine” if your loved one expresses scary or sad thoughts. But your ability to sit with the person as he or she shares those feelings is probably one of the most important things you can possibly do to make to his or her well-being.
2. Educate Yourself
There are lots of organizations that have helpful articles, write ups, and user-friendly websites that provide detailed information about cancer treatments, any possible side effects, and other related concerns that you may be able to find answers to.
3. Support Treatment Decisions
You cannot fully understand what your loved one is going through unless you are experiencing it as well. While you may be in a position to share decision-making, ultimately it is your loved one’s body and spirit that have to take on the impact of the cancer. Therefore, let them make the final decision because until you walk a mile in their shoes, you won't be able to quite understand.
4. Be Specific
Everyone likes to say “Call me if you need something” whenever an unfortunate circumstance arises. However, by saying "call me if you need something" may put your loved one in a bit of an uncomfortable position. It is better to offer to help with specific things, such as walking the dog every morning, shopping for groceries, or driving the person to treatment on a particular day. These will all help lighten the load.
5. Be Normal
More times than not, we try to make life easier for the person going through cancer by “doing things” for him or her. It is a way of feeling useful in a time when we would otherwise feel helpless. However, it is just as important to respect your loved one’s wishes to do normal “pre-cancer” tasks. For some people, being able to do things like cook dinner or continue working can lessen the sense that cancer is taking over their lives. And this is a huge aspect.
So whatever it is, whoever it may be, do whatever it takes to help lighten up the room, offer to help with specific things, and be supportive. Stay strong for them. No one should have to fight alone.
