can you blame me

If all the promises you once made

Were merely a facade

the more we progressed, the more I looked

For the man you once were.

the late nights , the times where you made me feel inexistent

don’t fucking ever tell other people otherwise

Making me out to be the bad guy

When you will never take accountability

I thought it was my fault for so long

I thought the man you once were disappeared because of me.

but that is so far from the truth

That man you once was ,

Will never be who you are

You read so far into my words,

My identity, my essence

You knew what I wanted in a man

And became the version that I’ve always wanted,

only for it to just be slammed back

In my face because you couldn’t keep the act up

I wanted the you in the beginning to come back

so badly that I stopped finding the beauty in myself

I believed all the things you said to me ; your words were like gospel to me.

since I truly did feel safe with you.

And thought that you would always be there for me.

but after showing my demons & vulnerabilities since I trusted you

not only were you shocked but you also viewed me as a burden

even though I was there through all your bullshit

I never put them against you; I just wanted you to hold my hand and love me like the way you did before

Can you blame me

If after all this time

I won’t be able to open my heart back up again

and that as quickly as you made me believe in love,

I stopped believing in it again.