I'm going to start this article by saying, there are many days when my self-esteem is low. Sometimes it's about my work. Sometimes it's the question of whether people or not like me. Other days, it's about whether I think I'm pretty, or hot, or whatever it means to be desirable these days. I am not saying this to bring a pity party, because I know I am not the only one who feels this. And to be quiet honest, compared to many people I know, my self-esteem is pretty good.

But I’m not here to talk about myself. I’m here to talk about Barbie.

Recently, there has been a new line of Barbie dolls released, where the dolls have a variety of body types. This includes a short, curvy doll, as well as a petite one. Not to mention, there is now a variety of hairstyles. Mattel says that they are doing this, because they want the new dolls to “reflect the world” that girls see around them.

I’m going to start by saying, I am not against this idea. I think it’s wonderful that Mattel is starting to show more representation.

However, it seems that part of the reason why this is happening is because there is the argument that Barbie is the reason why so many girls have low self-esteem. Many are arguing that Barbie’s beautiful blonde hair and very tiny waist are sending the message that this is the only way to be beautiful. There is even an eating disorder website called “Dying to be Barbie”.

I was actually shocked when I heard that people thought that Barbie was the cause of the low self-esteem that plagues women in America. Thinking it through, I had nothing but happy thoughts of Barbie. My childhood was spent building elaborate forts for my dolls, feeding my dramatic, over the top imagination. There was nowhere my Barbie’s couldn’t go, and nothing they couldn’t be. I would build the most elaborate sets in my family room (I’m sorry for the mess I made mom), and it became an outlet for all of the stories inside of my head.

Of course, I obviously grew out of it. But looking back, I realize that I owe a lot to Barbie. By playing with my dolls, I developed my imagination and storytelling skills, and I believe I owe a lot of my creativity to her. Furthermore, Barbie is extremely feminist. She has been a part of numerous male dominated professions, whether an astronaut, or a doctor. Yet, her femininity is never shamed, and she has never been made fun of for her pursuits. She is the proof that being smart and pretty are not two separate things, and she teaches girls that they are capable of anything.

I do not have a single memory of ever looking at Barbie and saying, “Wow, I hate myself because I don’t have her body and hair”.

When I look at this, it brings up the question of what exactly causes a person’s self-esteem to drop. It seems that we are often blaming the media or the products we consume as the cause of society’s unrealistic body expectations. But when this whole Barbie business came up, I began to ask myself, when exactly did I start feeling like I wasn’t pretty?

And I realized: It was my peers. My self-esteem began to drop when I got the occasional mean comment, and when I started comparing myself to the girls around me. It got lower when I would get rejected, when I didn’t have the look that got boys to like me.

I started asking a few friends when exactly they started questioning their beauty. Most of their responses were about kids teasing, or comments that their parents made about the way they looked. It was from the mean things people said. Not one single person mentioned that a toy ever made them feel ugly.

I’m not trying to say that we should get rid of these new Barbies. I think it’s wonderful that there is a lot more representation. But in the end, I think we need to realize that low self-esteem doesn’t always come from a child’s toy, or the people on a television show. It comes from us, and the way we treat others. We need to teach children to be nicer to one another, and furthermore, be the people we want our future generations to be.

And one more thing: let kids play with Barbies, regardless of their gender. It’s so much more than just a toy.