In the wake of Donald Trump’s victory and Hillary Clinton’s loss, America has grown more divided than ever. Protests have ensued, and hate crimes abound. And, the election has also led to debates both face-to-face and on social media. I’ve participated in some stirring conversations over the past few days. Some of them were productive, others not so much. Here are some things I’ve learned based on the mistakes that I, along with my challengers, have made.

1. Listen to understand, not just to reply.

These days, when we listen, we only do so because we want to use the other person’s words against them. We only listen to answer and attack. But, debates don’t always have to be so antagonizing. When talking to someone with a different point of view, don’t cut them off. Allow them a chance to speak, and while the other person is talking, don’t try to glean the main points of their argument simply to refute. Use this opportunity to also realize the underlying problem, and work together to find a win-win solution.

2. Try to find a middle ground.

As a liberal, I realize that I may have more in common with my conservative friends than I originally thought. We both care about our country. We both understand that there is no one way to fix the economy. It’s time for us to reach out to each other to determine where our goals overlap. Let’s capitalize on these similarities to tackle the differences.

3. Don’t try to act smug, condescending, or self-righteous.

Seriously, don’t try to elevate yourself as “the smartest guy in the room” -- you’ll only come off as pretentious and closed-minded. People hate it when you try to put them down, and it stunts any kind of potential for an interesting, open-minded conversation. We’re all guilty of thinking that we know everything, but I have to be honest with myself: I'm not always right, and I'm not better than everyone else. Don’t let your arrogance get in the way of a stimulating conversation.

4. On a similar note, refrain from calling someone “uninformed” -- you’re probably just as clueless as the other person.

There’s always a side to things that you may fail to realize or recognize while developing an opinion on a sociopolitical issue. Sometimes, opinions are formed based on misleading information or false misunderstandings -- you make mistakes, too. Don’t be so quick to write off another person’s intelligence without giving them the opportunity to speak -- you’ll be surprised by how much they really know, especially when they end up debunking each of your claims with fact and reason for everyone to see (looks like they're not as "uninformed" as you thought). When you start off an argument by saying “I never expected you to be so uninformed,” chances are that you’re just as “uninformed” as the other person. So, don’t -- it’ll only backfire on you.

5. Be respectful without sounding defensive or spiteful.

And, no, starting off with “in the most respectful manner” or “with all due respect” and then proceeding with your argument in a hateful mannerdoesn’t count either. The majority of the debates I've been sucked into start off respectfully, but gradually evolve into something else. I know that it's frustrating, but remember that you're trying to have a productive conversation. Remember that nothing is absolute and that black-and-white scenarios are uncommon. Starting off a conversation with “I always thought that...” or “I think that...” isn’t wishy-washy in any way -- it leaves room for peaceful, intellectual discourse.

6. Try not to disregard any pieces of evidence the other individual gives you.

Read it, no matter how hard it may be. Take a minute to analyze the arguments set forth, and ask questions if necessary.

7. Don’t be afraid to say that you were wrong about something or someone.

Not all Trump supporters are racist, misogynistic, homophobic rednecks. Not all Clinton supporters are crazy, hypersensitive SJWs who think that anything can be protested. These kinds of conversations are meant to challenge your views. This is an opportunity for you to step out of your comfort zone and learn new things -- it’s okay to admit that you changed your mind or that you had misunderstood something or someone the whole time.

8. Don’t try to invalidate or belittle someone else’s emotions or fears.

Chances are that you’ve never had to worry about a man grabbing you inappropriately on the street in broad daylight. Chances are that you’ve never been at the end of something marginalizing, hateful, or offensive, denounced by your own leader for who you are. Chances are that you’ve never been beaten up on the street because of the amount of melanin in your skin, scared for yourself and your loved ones because of who you worship and who you love.

But, on the other side, chances are that you’ve never felt the anger of a poor, blue-collar worker, desperate for some kind of change. Chances are that you’ve never had to worry about losing your job in the coal industry, forced to live off a meager salary. Chances are that you’ve never felt lost and betrayed by the Washington bureaucracy and possibly every politician on Capitol Hill.

Telling someone to “calm down” or to “stop overreacting” is not only insensitive, but also ineffective. When you say “your problems don’t matter,” it only shows that you don’t care about anyone else but yourself. Downplaying the wide range of emotions that people are feeling isn’t going to address any issue, so it’s essential to listen and try to understand the anger of the other side.

9. Work together to separate fact from opinion.

From Breitbart to NPR to Washington Post, media can twist facts into fiction and fool the public with skewed, sensationalized information. It is up to you and your friend to look beyond that. Do some research together; search for reputable sources and hard facts before you form a conclusion on a matter.

Also, try to burst the liberal or conservative social media bubble you live in, and diversify the information on your Facebook news feed. While every media platform is biased in some way, retreating towards alternative sources that are clearly and overtly biased isn’t going to help. Instead of narrowing your sources to radically partisan outlets with the excuse that “mainstream media is biased anyway,” try to subscribe to media platforms across the board. When you turn on the TV, turn on CNN for a few minutes, and then switch the channel to Fox News. Read an article from the New York Times, and then read another article about the same issue on the Washington Times. That way, you aren’t observing a societal problem through a one-sided lens.

10. Do NOT unfriend people on Facebook because of a political clash.

Look, if your Facebook friend tries to harass you or threaten you on Facebook because your political views, that’s a different story. If your friend posts something that seriously crosses a line, something that is overly racist, sexist, or homophobic to the point where it borders on dangerous or psychopathic, then you can take the necessary steps to ensure your personal and online safety. But, if your Facebook friend wrote a post celebrating Donald Trump’s win or lamenting Hillary Clinton’s loss, you don’t have to block off the thoughts of someone different than you by unfriending them on Facebook. Instead, take this time to learn more about the other side -- friendships should transcend beyond party lines.

11. Remember that, above all, you are speaking to another human being.

It’s important to realize that no individual thinks the same way -- each of our opinions are nuanced according to our unique experiences and environment. Understand that some differences may never be reconciled. You don’t need to compromise your views in any way; you don’t have to agree to disagree. But, at the same time, we don’t need to declare an all-out war on the other side -- we have a lot more in common than we think we do.