If you thought getting asked "do you have a boyfriend yet?" or "how's school going?" were some of the most annoying questions (they are) to get asked at family functions or parties with family friends, it's probably safe to say that no one has decided to make your weight or general appearance a topic of small talk.

I have an invisible disability called Crohn's Disease. Well, it's kind of invisible, except for the fact that I've lost almost 30 pounds over the last three years from it. I weigh about 120 pounds now, and for some reason (maybe because I look healthy enough other than my weight and hair loss?) people think it's OK to casually use my weight as a conversation starter.

"Oh my! You're looking thinner than a twig!"

"You're so tiny, that's not good."

"What size are you now?"

Maybe people think it's appropriate to call me skinny and ask invasive questions about my weight and health because I'm not in a wheelchair, or I don't have cancer. If I was visibly crippled with my disease, people surely wouldn't use my disease as a casual conversation starter.

Perhaps people think it's appropriate to make these passing remarks to me because thinness is a societal ideal. They must think that they are paying me some strange compliment by calling me skinny, implying that they thought I must have wanted to lose weight in the first place (plot twist: I didn't).

Aside from the fact that I've grown increasingly self-conscious about my weight and the fact that casually asking someone invasive questions about their health is pretty inappropriate, it rings most true that people likely feel comfortable making these remarks to me because I am a woman. People feel comfortable asking girls about their appearance as well as openly remarking on their appearance as a "safe" way to break the ice or make small talk.

Women constantly endure casual remarks on their hair, makeup, clothing, weight, skin, etc. etc. etc. from well-meaning-yet-oblivious people in their lives. These comments aren't always offensive, or ill-intended, but the fact remains true that women's appearances are hot topics of discussion.

Here's the problem, though: I'm tired of it. I'm tired of saying "Hi! So good to see you," and having it followed by "Honey it's been too long, you've thinned out," or "How's it going? Have you been getting sick again?"

I almost long for the days when the only pestering questions I got asked were "Do you have a boyfriend?" and "How's the semester?" Because at least those questions didn't make me despise my health. At least those questions didn't make me struggle to love my body even more.

If you're reading this and thinking to yourself, "Oh sh*t, I think I've said something like this before," whether it was to me or another girl or woman, don't worry. I've comprised a helpful list below of three different conversation starters that are sure to avoid unintentionally hurt feelings.

1. Ask Her How She Is And Actually Mean It

Too often we compulsively say "Hi! How are ya?" without actually stopping to listen to how that person is doing. Maybe they just say "good;" that's fine. If they keep it short, that's likely all that person is comfortable disclosing with you. Don't dig deeper. Don't ask "how's your depression?" or "Yeah? Have you seen the doctor lately?"

Perhaps this person has disclosed information regarding this topic to you before, but that does not mean they always want to discuss it. They're probably thinking about their health all the time already. Or, if they look different than you saw them last, they're probably well-aware. There's no reason to bring this up, even if you desperately want to know.

I know you are probably asking these invasive questions out of a place of concern, but it is demanding and a bit rude to insist that a woman (or anyone really) divulge more information than what she wishes. Avoid the awkwardness and the topic completely.

2. Ask About Her Interests

Do you know her well? If not, get to know her. Women are multi-faceted beings that are much more complex and interesting than which they receive credit. Try taking an interest in one of the other many components that make up a woman besides simply her looks -- that's just being lazy.

Try asking her what she's been up to lately; that's typically a safe question because it allows her to disclose only what she is comfortable sharing. Ask her about her latest hobby or ask her how her job has been going. Ask her what her opinion is on a current event. How does she feel about that new law that passed? What are her thoughts on the presidential campaign? Did she see the game last night?

My gosh, there are so many fascinating things to talk about other than how much I weight or if I'm getting enough to eat lately.

3. If You Must Mention Her Appearance, Tell Her She Looks Great, But That's It

Some people really love paying compliments, and can barely hold the urge back to use small talk to tell a woman how pretty she looks, but this is where the compliments should end. There's no need to say "Wow! You look great, you're so thin!" The statement can end at "You look great," and then all parties can move on to another subject.

Rally, it's preferable if you can avoid mentioning her appearance at all and reinforce the idea to her that she is more interesting than her latest haircut, her winged eyeliner or her fashion sense by making small talk about something other than her appearance, but if you must mention her looks, remember: she looks f***ing fabulous, and that's the end of it. No further comments required.

We know you're probably well-meaning with real concerns, or maybe you're trying to make us feel good about ourselves. But what makes me feel good is being recognized for something other than my waistline, or haircut, or outfit, or health.

You can break the ice or greet a gal without mentioning any of these things, I promise.