Let’s just set the record straight from the get go. This piece won’t idealize the institution of marriage. It will put it plainly. Given the present day state of many marriages rapidly becoming divorces, the likelihood of future marriage successes is extremely bleak. This begs the question, in the future will there even be marriages?
The numbers are daunting. The rates are especially high in Arizona, with nearly half of couples getting divorced in their first marriage, and even higher rates for second and third, so what rational person can honestly consider marriage as a serious commitment, one that is actually “till death do us part?” I hear those statistics, look at my friends’ family’s failing marriages, my own split parents, and think that a successful marriage for my generation is not even a real possibility.
I don’t think that people are prepared for the sacrifices that come with entering a marriage. In marriage, men and women must be accustomed to giving, and not always getting. It’s a natural human instinct to want to pair up and start families and so on, but our generation doesn’t appear to have the ability to push through the unexpected problems that come with marriage and the natural disposition to be selfish instead of selfless.
I look at my grandparents who have been married for over 60 years. I am in awe when I realize that’s three times my age. How could their generation have made marriage something so workable, so respectable? What once represented an institution of meaning, purpose, and stability, like the marriages of our grandparents, has become one without those values today.
It has been said that strong families build strong nations. This sounds true; however “strong family” doesn’t always mean one that involves married parents. Look at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. They seem to make the strong family dynamic happen without involving the weight of a couple rings and signed papers. Maybe this is where we are headed as far as our generation’s view of marriage is; we prefer to view it more as a “partnership.” Call me old-fashioned, but this kind of mutually exclusive roommate who you may or may not choose to procreate with is something I am still trying to wrap my head around.
Integrally, my biggest fear involves one day settling down with someone and raising kids like I’ve always dreamed, but then getting a divorce down the road and placing my kids in a situation of turmoil within the family structure that pits them against their parents and their strength that comes from family unity.
Truly, I believe that the real problem lies within how society has caused us to think. We have a “want it now, get it now” mentality. When there’s a problem, we don’t have the stamina to ride out the issue and attempt to find a solution. We quit, we lose patience, we move on. We need to find a way to make our commitments stronger and have more patience.
The same is true for marriage. Currently, we don’t have the stamina to make it work, but that comes from not understanding how much commitment a marriage entails. I think we need to go into it in the first place realizing the weight that those rings carry.
For now, I am not 100 percent sold on the institution of marriage and its applicability to today’s world, but I still have the small hope to one day be one half of a successful marriage that defies the odds, for mine and my future children's sake.
