"Can I kiss you?" | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

"Can I kiss you?"

If he'd asked if he could kiss me, the situation would have been much different.

54
"Can I kiss you?"
Ask Ralph

In high school, there was a mandatory program in the auditorium we had to go to called, "Can I Kiss You?" The speaker was adamant about ensuring that all people — couples, people on dates, strangers — ask before kissing someone else. I won't lie, I thought it was a load of crap. I thought, "asking someone before the kiss totally ruins the mood. I would hate if someone did that to me." It wasn't until later, when I had been kissed at a time when that was the last thing I wanted, that I really took what the speaker said to heart.

I was talking to a someone, and displaying multiple signs of discomfort through my speech and my body language. I kept backing up but it seemed like he was being pulled to me, almost like a magnet. I was so uncomfortable. I kept avoiding eye contact and pulling away, but he didn't get the message, and grabbed my hands and kissed me. I was frozen from shock. As soon as he left, I immediately broke down and started sobbing uncontrollably, because I didn't want to be kissed, and I didn't get the chance to directly convey that verbally because I was never given the chance. As a socially awkward and anxious person, that was one of the worst situations I could have been in.

And it could have been easily changed by that person asking one question:

"Can I kiss you?"

Asking that simple question won't ruin the mood. In fact, it will improve the mood, for me at least. I will know that the person I'm with respects and cares for me, and that will make me feel comfortable and more prone to want to kiss someone (if I didn't want to already.) On the flip side, if I didn't want to kiss, we could swiftly move past the situation and carry on with whatever we were doing, and I would feel at ease knowing that both parties know where I am.

This all, of course, goes the other way as well. Because I know how it feels to be kissed without permission, I want to do my best to ensure no one feels that way due to my not asking. And I won't care if the other person laughs the question off or if that person says I ruined the mood, because at least I'll know where we both stand, and will know that we both want what I want.

Looking back at it, I'm really thankful that speaker came to my high school. Without him, I don't know if I would have ever considered asking if I could kiss someone, and I definitely wouldn't have known how important verbal consent for something as simple as kissing could be. Sometimes, when someone is caught up in the moment, he or she might not notice the body language of the other person, and the best way to avoid anyone feeling uncomfortable or forced into something, is to just ask, "can I kiss you?"

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

The Perks of Being a Girl

“I just want you to know that you’re very special… and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has.”

59
girl

As frustrating and annoying as it can be, being a girl is really awesome. We are beautiful inside and out. Not a lot of people may see that, but girls have a ton of amazing qualities.

We have unique flirting skills.

Us girls have a significant way to flirt with other people. Even when we say the most random or awkward things, we have a way of making everything sound cute and planned. It’s just a gift; we’re good like that.

Keep Reading...Show less
gossip girl

Us college students know all about the struggle of spending the day in the library. Whether you are writing a ten-page paper, studying for a biology exam, or struggling through math homework, you somehow find the strength to get to the library to get it all done. Let's just say you have a lot of different thoughts that run through your head during the many hours you spend in the lovely library.

Keep Reading...Show less
female tv characters
We Heart It

Over the past decade, television has undergone a very crucial transition: the incorporation of female lead characters. Since it's a known fact that girls actually do run the world (Beyonce said so herself), it's time for the leading ladies of the small screen to get some credit. Without these characters, women would still be sitting in the background of our favorite shows. These women are not only trailblazers for female empowerment, but role models for women worldwide. With that, here are 15 of the smartest, sassiest ladies gracing our screens that remind us that women do, indeed, rule:

Keep Reading...Show less
New Now Next
New Now Next

If you are like me, you have an interesting personality. Basically, you love to be sassy and snarky, gossip, and act like a total bitch (not really), but deep down, you are actually a very genuinely nice person. The idea of actually hurting someone truly makes you feel bad, and you probably have never actually hurt someone’s feelings because your kindness always shines through, even if you do not want it to. Not sure exactly what I would call this type of personality, but if you identify with it, here are some feelings you can undoubtedly relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
Blair Waldorf
Cub Magazine

We all have a little bit of Blair Waldorf inside of us. You may not realize it, but you're probably guilty of at least nine out of ten of these listed points. So why don't we reminisce on the famous Blair Waldorf moments where we realized we were actually her at certain times through the series?

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments