In a world that has forgone darlings and dears for bae, boo, and baby girl, there is no lack of truly cringe-worthy pet names. However, there is one term of endearment that I despise more than any other, and that is princess.
Now, before you get defensive, hear me out on this one.
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When I hear the word princess, two words immediately come to mind: pampered and worshiped. As a female, there's nothing that irks me so greatly as a woman who demands to be pampered, but then is up in arms when a man treats her like she's the weaker sex. You receive the respect that you demand, and if you're going to perpetually act as though you're helpless, you will eventually be treated as such. This isn't sexism, and it has nothing to do with your femininity. Instead, it has everything to do with the character that you have built for yourself.
Worshiped, on the other hand, indicates an inconsistency in respect. As women, we fight so hard to be seen as serious contenders in life--to prove that we are as tough, as intelligent, and as hardworking as any man. But, in this way, we work to be recognized as equals, not as superiors.
I have so little desire to ever be put on a pedestal when I can be challenged and motivated by men instead. I want a man to look me in the eyes and tell me if I'm being absurd, push me to be better, and most of all, to be genuine in their praise of my accomplishments. Praise means nothing if it's thrown about haphazardly, but rather, is like getting participations trophies--if they're handed out like candy, does it ever actually mean anything?
And furthermore, what happened to simply following the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated? If a man were to demand that a woman worship and pamper him, there's an endless string of profane words we would use to describe him--yet, somehow we justify the opposite.
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but for me, the single most important factor in a relationship is respect. From that, everything else follows. You won't lie, cheat on, deceive, or hurt a person that you truly, deeply respect. But respect is earned. You earn it by being genuine, honest, and fair, rather than demanding special treatment. You partner earns it by again being genuine, honest, and fair, rather than metaphorically bowing in your presence.
I understand that this is solely my opinion, and many may disagree with it; I also understand that in itself, use of the word princess does not indicate a lack of respect by any means. However, the word reflects these issues in the way that we see relationships in an almost tangible way for me.
At the heart of it, I simply have no desire for a man to ever kneel at my feet, but to look me in the eyes with respect, as equals. Rather than perpetuate this idea that men have to lessen themselves to praise women, why don't we instead take joy in the idea that together men and woman can build each other up as equals. After all, the only thing I have the desire to rule is my own future, and that I hope to do with only an equally strong man.
