This journey started during the summer before my senior year of high school. My dad approaches me one day and states that I should start my application to the Naval Academy. This wasn’t something out of the ordinary for him to say. It was an ongoing joke that we shared, one that involved me going to the Naval Academy. The playful banter would go back and forth and usually involved my dad stating “You’re going to end up there one day” and myself replying “Yeah right dad, over my dead body will I end up there.” But this request wasn’t like the playful banter I was accustomed to, but rather something more serious. My dad was really insisting I give this idea a shot. Wanting to get my father off my back I appeased him. I filled out the endless piles of paperwork, got the needed recommendations, and proceeded with the necessary interviews, but I was still convimced this wasn't the right fit for me. What I really wanted was normalcy.
Having grown up around the military my whole life and I was ready to separate my adult life from it all together. My mom was in the Navy for 25 years, and during many of those years my life was at the mercy of the hands of the Navy’s unforgiving wrath. I moved around constantly and longed for a set place to call my own. I figured college would be the place to do this. The closer college came, the more I envisioned myself at a state school living the typical college dream. I pictured myself setting up my dorm, studying in the library, being a part of a sorority, joining endless clubs. I wanted roots and a place to call my own. I wanted the consistency my childhood couldn’t give me.
As the months rolled on, college acceptances started coming my way, and to my surprise the Naval Academy had not turned me down yet. After receiving my nomination in November I put the Academy on the back burner. The schools I had dreamed of going to, the quintessential state schools, began to accept me. My dream was becoming closer, but it all ended one fine March day. I remember receiving a call from my congressmen’s office, browsing the aisles of the Walgreens pharmacy I interned at. That’s when it happened, I was accepted. The prestigious Naval Academy wanted me of all people.
The moment I told my parents of my acceptance is something I will never forget. They were packing for a trip. As they were folding their clothes gently into their suitcases I told them, I just blurted it out. That was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry. The pride he had in me was something that is forever ingrained in my memory. All of my relatives found out within days and one thing was always assumed, that I would accept this offer. With my dream of state school bliss on the horizon and within my grasp, I had not yet thought that going to the academy was something I would actually do.
My life seemed to get more difficult after the acceptance. My parents and I got into fights regularly, all stemming from my reluctance to accept this offer. My state college dream was falling from my grip and it seemed like my world was closing in. It took many tears and heated words for me to make the decision that I would attend the academy, or at least give it a shot.
I signed on the dotted line and waited for plebe summer to arrive. Once July 1st arrived my life in the military became a reality. Plebe summer can be challenging by itself, but entering it without a clear “why” made the transition that much harder. As plebe year rolled in I thought my life could not be made more miserable. I had been thrown into a world where everything was out of my element. I was a quiet, shy, reserved girl, who had no idea how to make her voice loud enough to boom through the hallways like her peers.
As the weeks and months rolled on I longed for a ticket out of what I thought was hell on earth. The thought of leaving was always on my mind, and I had even resorted to applying for other schools. It’s hard being constantly reminded that’s you’re living someone’s dream when all you want to do is leave. These constant reminders created a lot of guilt and resentful feelings. These feelings were often hard to accept myself and I couldn’t image telling my peers about how much I wanted to quit. My relationships began to crumble. My parents, sister and even some of my closest friends all seemed at their whit’s end with my constant complaining. I was even beginning to be at the whit’s end with myself too. I was becoming someone I didn’t even recognize. I just wanted something that would bring a sense of purpose into my life.
One day something began to change. I was procrastinating as usual and started watching a movie. I can’t even remember what movie it was but this intense fighting scene came on and I became engulfed with goosebumps. This was a movie I had seen before, but there was a new light to it now. Those war fighters were going to be me in four short years. I was going to be on the front lines. I was going to be conning the war ship, I was going to be flying the planes, and I was going to become part of the fight.
Slowly but surely I stared to find my why, I started to find my purpose here at the Naval Academy. My purpose was not to go to live out my days with a normal life, but to protect and defend the people of this country so they too can continue to have the safety of normal. The stronger my relationships became with my classmates I the more I began to realize that I was going to be fighting for something greater then myself. That ship, shipmate, self was going to be a motto to live by, not just something taught over plebe summer. I was given the privilege to fight in the world’s greatest navy and I was going to be on the front lines with my brothers and sisters by my side.
Being at the academy was something I once considered the greatest cruse, something I wouldn’t be caught dead doing, but ended up becoming the greatest blessing I could have ever been given. I was selfish and afraid at how drastic my life would change because of the academy. I didn’t want to be put into the discomfort of the unknown. It would have been nice living the simple life at some cozy state school, but I inevitably wouldn’t have become the person I am today without the “discomfort” the Naval Academy brought to my life.
While my state school dream is forever in my rear view mirror, I am embracing the craziness that is the academy. Even though I always craved normalcy, I’m beginning to realize the best lives lived are far from average. It doesn’t matter why you came to the academy, its matters most why you stay. I’m staying to fly planes for a living, I am staying for my brothers and sisters, and I’m staying to protect and defend the country that I love most.
