About a month ago, I sat around with my friends as we scrolled through Netflix, trying to find something to keep us entertained. We finally decided on Louis C.K.’s standup comedy show. His comedy is generally based off of agony of the human condition and the realities of our society; a quite dark sense of humor. One can easily notice his depressive behavior and his struggle with his own mental state throughout his standup, but he makes light of the darkest parts of being.
Not more than a week later, I read the news of his acts of sexual harassment against several women and felt disgusted immediately. Embarrassed that I had enjoyed any of his standup comedy, I immediately disdained any support I previously had for the comic, and I was glad to see networks and media personnel do the same.
I am writing this from the perspective of a single woman facing an increasingly threatening world. As a woman trying to enter the professional arena, it’s incredibly sickening to continue to read about men in power feeling emboldened to sexually assault others in their environment. It could be a supervisor, mentor, hiring agent, human resources rep., co worker, colleague, friend, significant other, spouse, mayor, congressman, United States President, etc. It could be anyone that you trust to feel emboldened next. People that I once revered are being exposed for the true evil that they are and it’s frightening. My heart breaks for every individual that has been affected by sexual violence, and we cannot stand alone in facing this issue.
My call for help extends to anyone with a conscience and anyone that sees ANYTHING incorrect transpiring, but I am taking this opportunity to direct my words toward men. Yes, ALL men. No, not all men or even a majority of men would think about committing acts like this. But you’re an important factor in fighting this issue. It is YOUR moral obligation to actively denounce evil acts like these. If you’re silent amidst these conversations then you’re just as much a part of the problem as the men that commit these acts. Conversations among men about these issues need to formulate and build upon themselves in order to monitor for warning signs and prevent things like this from happening in the future.
What has been referred to as “locker room talk” by our president is part of the reason that men feel justified in carrying out sexual violence. Those inappropriate remarks and comments about women are nothing to be brushed off or ignored for the sake of stopping confrontation. Instead, they perpetuate men’s sense of entitlement toward women and create a space for sexual violence to occur. If you choose to ignore any sort of misogynistic behavior, as I know that many mendo, you are contributing to the issue.
Women carry pepper spray, walk with keys in hand, use the buddy system, only open drinks themselves, don’t go out after certain hours, and take several other measures to keep themselves from entering a situation of sexual assault. It’s time that men take just as aggressive efforts to ensure that their peers never feel emboldened to sexually assault women or even make misogynistic remarks. This is a multi-faceted issue which requires active efforts from EVERYONE for the well-being and peace of mind of others.
