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The Cake That Was Not A Cake

A memoir of baking gone wrong.

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The Cake That Was Not A Cake
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Three roommates gather together,

Two Pinterest recipes stand before them,

They have one wish,

To make a cake.


Ingredients are gathered

But some are missing.

How does one create

Condensed milk

From nothing?


Two roommates embark on

A quest to find the answer,

The other makes the batter.

There are no eggs to make the

Condensed milk.

Use Applesauce instead.


Mixed all together,

The batter goes in the oven.

The icing is next.

More ingredients are missing,

How does one create

Heavy cream

From nothing?


The makeshift heavy cream

Refuses to mix.

Clumps of butter float upon the surface

Milk runs like blood underneath the surface.

How do you fix this?

Use a microwave.


After whisking the substance into submission,

The icing settles.

Butter rises to the surface,

Quick whisk it away.

The cake is ready.


Icing drips down the sides of the creation,

Butter separating on the surface.

Now eat it before

All eighty-two out eighty-six arteries are clogged.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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