Dear Ms. “So Over Feminists,”

It appears you are a white, cisgendered, heterosexual, able-bodied, privileged woman. You also write for Odyssey. Funnily enough, we’re exactly the same – I’m all those things, too! But we have one subtle difference: I’m a feminist, and you’re not. Actually, in my opinion, you’re quite ignorant, too. You wrote an entire accord of how you’re a female who’s “so over feminists” (breaking news: feminism isn’t a “trend” you can be “so over," like Kylie Jenner lips or rainbow food – it’s a frigging movement for equality, for Christ’s sake. We need to stop marginalizing a movement down to a buzzword.)

This article of yours was written entirely in your bubble of privilege. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but just because you specifically feel like your rights are covered, does not mean every disenfranchised group feels the same. Reference the first sentence of this response – that’s why you made this argument in the first place.

I understand labelling yourself “feminist” isn’t palatable for everyone. Heck, even I struggled with it at first. What you’re failing to understand, however, is how feminism is much more holistic in nature than the version you’re talking about. It’s colloquially known as female chauvinism or misandry. But, neither of those concepts are as common as you believe.

Albeit, feminism was not always this way. Many rights women currently possess on paper can be attributed to feminism, but lest we forget how racist and exclusive the movement was during its first and second waves. This is why hundreds – or even thousands … it’s hard to keep track – of separatist movements stemmed from the original.

Movements such as womanism (black women), lesbian feminism (a response to the heterosexual feminist movement), Socialist/Marxist feminism (anti-capitalist), radical feminism (issues of the body), conservative feminism (less-radicalized approach), ecofeminism (environmental), postmodern feminism (socially constructed gender roles are the devil) … I could go on for decades. Even today, there’s still issues with White Liberal Feminism, which is a feminist discourse that only advantages women like us. (For the love of Beyoncé, please never be a white liberal feminist.)

But thanks to a brilliant scholar by the name of Kimberlé Crenshaw, feminism has adopted the concept of “intersectionality.” It’s the catalyst the movement always needed.

Sure, the entry-level feminist definition of “advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of economic, political, and social equality of the sexes” should provide you with a stable perspective on how this movement is the exact opposite of what you’re saying – a simple Google search would have explained that to you.

Intersectional feminism, though, is what you need to understand. Feminism is holistic; feminism is the movement to prove that we are of equal worth, not just striving for “equality" to keep up with men, since society privileges men. And yes, we do need to blame society – it's the framework that perpetuates the cycle of oppression.

I’m not telling you to become a feminist. As feminist writer and scholar, bell hooks explained in her book “Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center,” feminists do not have to change non-feminists. I support your right to label yourself however you see fit. Nevertheless, it is my duty as a feminist to make sure you are at least educated on the subject.

According to your article, it’s evident you are not. I’m sorry patriarchy has dictated you to believe that women and men – your article also reinforced gender binaries, but we’ll get to that later – are not inherently of equal worth. “Equal worth” and “equality” do not mean physical strength and ability (like your, in my opinion, irrelevant point about women in the NFL).

Again, just because you specifically believe that your issues are covered (they are, because you are a cishet, white, able-bodied woman with privilege), does not mean every issue is covered.

Yes, in America we have way more rights on paper than women in other countries. "On paper" being the operative phrase. The problem is, despite the rights on paper, our 10th Amendment allows states to decide what they can and cannot enforce. It’s federal law that we have marriage equality, but that didn’t stop Kim Davis from denying marriage licensure to a same-sex couple and receiving praise from homophobic politicians. We have an equal protection Amendment (14th Amendment), too, but that’s not stopping North Carolina and Mississippi from barring trans* people from what bathroom they’re more comfortable using.

Each and every one of these issues is a feminist issue. It’s not “special treatment” – it’s inclusion.

Also, your ethnocentric worldview is reinforcing Western privilege. I'll break it down for you: America exists because of colonialism → colonialism is the reason we have patriarchy → patriarchy is the reason you fail to understand feminism even on a basic level.

I feel as if you have a narrow view of what “double standards” are. Men offering to pick up the check and women trying to do the same isn’t a double standard. Why do men feel obligated to do so? Gender roles. Why was chivalry invented in the first place? Gender roles.

Chivalry is dead because it’s sexist. It’s sexist because we shouldn’t have to gender being a decent human being. Men shouldn’t be expected to pick up the check or open doors for women under the guise of patriarchal social constructs. Feminists dating men want their male significant other to feel they are equal in the relationship. Wow, isn’t it amazing how feminism helps men, too, since so many of men’s issues are caused by misogyny?

I hope you come to terms with your internalized sexism. You seem to have a great deal of support for many of your lady friends deep down, but you should learn to love and support them in the feminist way. Nothing makes my heart warmer than women who feel they can kick ass and do anything; I support you as a woman.

But just because I have grasped the intersectional feminist movement as a driving force in my life, does not mean my inherent privileges are dissolved. That also means you, who shares the same ones as me, need to get out of this “my life is fine so everyone else should stop complaining” straight jacket you’re bound in.

To me, it sounds as if you’re the one complaining. Feminists are the ones advocating for your freedoms … so, you’re welcome?

You did get one thing correct, though. It is the 21st Century. Congrats!

Best wishes,

That scary, evil feminist burning bras on your front lawn patriarchy warned you about.