I grew up just like you. Abnormal, not shaped the right way, maybe ever a little *gasp* different. I see you trying to fit in, and I see you trying to mold yourself to fit what you think is the right shape, or the right way to behave, or the right way to live.

Most people would see me and spend "X" amount of time with me and immediately class me as sassy. Now don't get me wrong, I am, but under all that sass, I still feel like the insecure 13-year-old in middle school who was shown that she just wasn't good enough. I still catch myself from time to time wondering if that's how people still view me, and that honestly scares me, probably more than it should. Middle school is such a weird time for people. Bodies are changing along with voices, styles, and attitudes. Mine changed so rapidly I didn't even realize what had happened until it had already been done. I remember staying up late at night, hating who I was, who I had become, based on my looks. My legs were too long, my nose just didn't fit with my face, my hair wasn't long enough, my chest brought too much attention to me, the list could have practically gone on.

I wish I could say that, "yeah then everything got better and I had this whole wow I accept my body" moment, but I didn't. I lived with the hatred of what I looked like for years. All throughout middle school and into high school. My junior year, I got sick and was placed on medical steroids to try and combat my sinus induced migraines, I gained 20 pounds over the course of about 3 months. As a junior in high school I had come to absolutely loath the way I looked. Now, looking back I realize what had happened to me wasn't necessarily my fault, but to a 17-year-old girl, it sure felt like it. I went on to lose most of that weight senior year. Then came college and the dreaded freshmen 15. It didn't hit me so hard, but it did hard enough to leave a bit of a bruise.

I imagine that now you're thinking "okay, get to the point" or "is this here "ah-ha!" moment when everything is just perfect?" and trust me I'm getting there. We live in a society of the Instagram Explore page. Man, just one look at some self-proclaimed models on that page will really get a girl's self esteem down to the floor. I'm in no way dogging on girl's posts (because girls support girls, duh), but what I am saying, is that every single body is made differently, and that is okay, and I'm going to tell you why.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? You've read above all about what I see, but the real question is, do you see past the minor "imperfections" you have created in your mind? There is one quote in particular that really helped me through a lot of my self esteem problems, prepare yourself, my inner nerd is about to come out. "Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you." – Dr. Seuss. It's funny how a quote that was intended for children can have an impact on me as this one did. And I believe that the same applies to you, because I am here to say, you are beautiful. You are made in the most perfect image. You are so much more than your opinion of the way you look. You are made in His image, an image that He spent so much time working on you,

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:19. NIV

So to the girl who is still trying to find a way to love herself, I see you. I see a bit of myself in you everyday. I feel the sorrow you feel every time you get on the scale. I see your eyes scanning the crowd to make sure that no one is looking to closely at you. I see you working hard to trying and get the weight off and trying to keep it off. I see you trying to not feel different, you don't have to become something else for people to love you, I promise. I feel your pain when you look in the mirror and hate what you see. I grieve with you when you've exhausted all attempts to feel normal. I know you may feel alone, like you're the only one, but I am here to tell you, with great intent, that you are not alone.

Here is the great, "and then everything gets better, right?" moment. I'll let you in on a little secret, it won't happen overnight, you won't just wake up one day and say "Wow, I love myself." Because realistically, it won't happen, I'm not saying it won't but eh, maybe. The point to all the mumbling above is that you might not be picture perfect all the time, but you are perfect all the time. I know as hard as it is to believe, you are loved and cherished by so many people, people you have even yet to meet will love you.

So winding this up, everyone has their own demons they have to face, and everyone has their own way of dealing with them. Some people go to the gym (lol not me) and some people eat like a whole bag of chips (definitely me). But what I hold on to the most, what I think people should hold on to the most, is that this will pass, and hopefully someday it will. Someday I hope I will be accepting of what I am and who I have become, not because of my body but in spite of it.

This too, shall pass.

Let's do this people.