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As previously stated, my mother was the one who introduced me to Buffy and the Scooby Gang. I was immediately hooked. Here was this assertive, confident woman, who kicked ass on a regular basis and had the daunting task of saving the world. As a youngster, I loved the fact that she was a fighter but was still a young girl who cared about boys and fashion. Although she was feminine in the typical sense, it never defined her or held her back. As I grew older, I became more appreciative of these aspects.
I’m cookie-dough.
Buffy knew who she was, her role in life, what she liked, and didn’t let anyone or her job as a slayer stop her. She showed everyone she met how to take their lives into their own hands. Just because she was saving the world every day didn’t stop her from caring about her academics and furthering her education after high school. She didn’t let the typical rules that came with being a slayer cloud her better judgement. As long as she knew who she was, and knew that she was still growing, she could do anything.
Looking back on it now, I realize Buffy spent years listening to her brain and friends and partners telling her, however unintentionally, that she wasn’t enough, that there was something fundamentally wrong with her. She was enough. She knew she was enough.
Something that I have always related to on a very personal level, even when I was younger, was how Buffy was always willing to sacrifice her happiness for that of others. She continued to support her friends even when their lives caused more splash damage than hers. She fought to keep her mother’s home and custody of her sister, while still being there for all of her friends emotionally and otherwise. Personally, I have always felt the need to put others before myself, even if that means I end up hurting. Even though sometimes it feels like I’m being torn to pieces, I still will want greater happiness for others. There is always a limit, though — you have to find balance – you have to take care of yourself. You can’t always force yourself to keep hurting for someone else, which brings me to another lesson Buffy taught me.
Love isn’t always enough.
She let someone she loved very much go because she couldn’t keep torturing herself and needed to put herself first. Recently, I’ve had to say goodbye to a few people who I cared for very deeply. A part of me still feels guilty for walking away, but if I would have stayed I know I would not have found any peace or happiness. Sometimes, no matter how much you give, it’s not enough. You have to know when to walk away.
Buffy wasn’t perfect. She wasn’t the prettiest or the smartest, but she was herself. She had to make hard choices again and again in keeping with her principals. As a young adult, that helps to give me confidence in myself. I’m not perfect, and the choices I and others have to make in this life aren’t always easy, but I know I can.
So thank you, Buffy. Thank you for being a strong female character that helped give young girls like me confidence and knowledge that you can be vulnerable and feminine and even a little weird, and still be strong.
