I think one thing that makes Greek life so special is the bond you develop with other people. These are bonds that we cherish and maintain even after we leave college. However, these bonds are also incentives that we "sell" to prospective new members while we are recruiting. We show them the brotherhood/sisterhood that is almost within their grasp and promise them it is only something they can attain by joining our fraternity/sorority. Maybe this is just me and maybe this might be an unpopular opinion, but my feeling is that, contrary to popular belief, you are not a brother or sister of the fraternity as soon as you join.

The moment you get pinned, signifying your membership, you become a MEMBER of the fraternity. Sure, once you join you are referred to as a brother or sister, but are you really? In my eyes you aren’t. I come from one of the best Fraternities on my campus in my opinion, which is why I joined. That being said, the moment I got my new member pin nothing really changed. I was called a brother but, I wasn’t really. Yes, I had all the rights of a brother, I was respected as a brother, I was not hazed, and I enjoyed the people I was around. However, even though technically I was brother, I didn’t quite feel like one and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why.

I came to realize this one simple fact, brotherhood and sisterhood is earned not given. When they gave me a pin and called me a brother it was merely ceremonial. In my opinion giving someone a pin and calling them your brother is crap and it is not something isolated to my just my fraternity. Here’s the thing, giving me the pin gave me the title of brother. But, there is no way that pin could give me the bonds and relationships that come with actually being a brother. Those relationships and that feeling had to be earned.

The feeling of true brotherhood is a bond that can never be given out on a silver platter. It is something you get by spending time with others in your Fraternity. You have to be willing to spend time with your brothers even if that means going to Walking Dead watch parties, cooking a hundred donuts for sorority, being a designated driver, going to trivia night at local restaurants, having family dinners every few weeks, having deep conversations at two in the morning, and you have to be willing to goof off with your brothers during finals week when you should be studying. Brotherhood can only be earned through shared experiences and what you put into you Fraternity is what you’ll get out of it. If you want to be a brother you have to strive for it and make those meaningful relationships.

No amount of pins, crafts, or rituals can make you feel like a true brother or sister. There is no alternative way to achieve those lasting bonds that Greek life sells to its new members. Brotherhood or sisterhood must be earned, end of story.

Greek life is an extraordinary thing. There are few other organizations in the world that can allow you to make such strong bonds. However, if you join a fraternity or sorority remember to be realistic. You may not feel that bond right away and that’s okay, I certainly didn’t. Just keep in mind that that feeling of kinship will come in time. Nothing worth having can ever be given and this remains true for brotherhood and sisterhood.