It's senior year. You're going out on a Friday night with some of your new friends. You think you're having the time of your life. You think that everything is okay. Life is great. You suddenly start crying out of nowhere. The song you and your ex bestie used to listen to is now playing on the booming speakers through out the club. You start seeing memories flash through your brain, at first very subtle, but then you become cognizant of what is actually happening... it's over.

The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone", has become a life thing for me. I have lost friends over the years of high school, and made new ones. It doesn't get easier. It gets harder. Especially when the one friend you care about so deeply (9 years of friendship to be exact), wants to have no communication with you, wants to forget about you completely after "breaking up" for just a day, if even that. I constantly am reminded of the friendship everywhere I go. I am constantly tormented by that horrible 6ix9ine song that we used to sing together. I am constantly tormented when I pass Cracker Barrel, knowing that I will probably never eat there with you again. Everywhere in our small town will remind me of you, even going downtown. People may think it's no big deal. People may think that I can always find a different friend, but if I haven't made it clear... this was my person. The person I spent months with preparing for senior year. The person I grew up with. The person that literally was my first friend when I moved to my new school in third grade. It all gets taken away over something so small.

I'm not going to lash out at you, because I understand it, sort of. I'm hurt, especially since I put myself out there and apologized and thought we were good. It's not fair for you to not consider my feelings. It's not fair for you to act like we're going to be friends again when in the end, you were just so reluctant to give up. Breakups suck, but never would I have thought that I would be "breaking up" with my best friend.