First of all, I'd like to personally give each of you an award for taking each of my best friends and making them believe they aren't good enough for boys like you all, as well as convincing me to believe each of you were worth their time.
Let's back track for a second. I have to admit, it was great to see each of my friends' faces light up each time they'd read your conversations out loud to me for approval of what to say next. All of you charmed your sweet way into their hearts and placed them on cloud nine, which of course made me float up there with them. When someone you care about is happy, it makes it impossible not to be affected by their good mood.
But none of you were there to answer the many insecure questions they were left with when you decided to walk away.
"Why wasn't I good enough?"
"Am I not pretty enough?"
"Do I need to lose weight?"
"Did I try too hard or care too much?"
"Was there someone else?"
Every time, I'm the one picking them up off the floor when the margaritas they drank to feel better got the best of them. I'm the one having to reassure each of them that they are absolutely worthy of love. If I could collect all the tears they've shed over silly boys like all of you, I could absolutely end droughts.
Unfortunately, I cannot make myself hate any of you. How could I hate someone who once made some of my best friends feel like the luckiest girls in the world? So, I simply dislike all of you. A lot. And not only did each of you break their hearts but you each left me feeling disappointed, hurt, dumb, and an awful friend for rooting for you guys. Because of course I was rooting for you to be the one to prove to them not all guys are the same.
In the future, to save another best friend many tear stained pillows and broken record talks, realize that chasing a girl with no intentions of catching her or vice versa, is cowardly. I, of all people, understand, changing your minds and realizing there just may not be feelings there, is human, but leading them on to believe they have a chance, making them trust you, and allowing them to fall for you just to rip the rug out from underneath them is cruel. Maybe next time, be gentle with a girl's feelings and let them know your intentions up front.
All in all, I hope all of you realize what you've left behind. Or rather, I should thank you for not wasting any more of my wonderful friends' time. Thank you all for showing each and every one of them what they deserve and for giving them a chance to realize how wonderful they all are. You boys will not be missed.