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Learning to Live for More than Yourself

A broken compass

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Learning to Live for More than Yourself
RMI

"Not having something to believe in is like having a compass that always points back to you," Dr. Vince Vitale, Team Director and Senior Tutor at the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics

This statement, in March of 2016, led me through a long process of realizations which made me question myself and hold myself accountable for exactly who and what I was living for in my life. Prior to my freshman year of college I would have said: 1. Myself 2. My family 3. Whomever I "loved". However, now, the priorities have changed up quite a bit. Today I live for: 1. God and his glory 2. Myself 3. My family and ride-or-die friends.

The concept of living for someone other than myself seemed absolutely insane to me for a multitude of reasons - the main one being that if God gave me my life then why would I live it for anyone other than myself (and part of this being I was not really in the word too much prior to college, my knowledge was not up to par, my decisions weren't in alignment with my values, my values weren't solidified, etc.). But time after time, disappointment after disappointment, heartbreak after heartbreak, it became increasingly difficult to think that everything depended on me. Living my life mostly for me meant carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders - I grew tired and dropped it all one day. This moment - or series of moments more like - happened during my spring semester of freshman year within a community where I became most spiritually accountable - ASU Chi Alpha.

Since starting my journey to living a more wholehearted and full life, not for me, but for my Lord and Savior, I have picked up a lot of puzzle pieces along the way. I have also met a lot of really fantastic people and solidified some great friendships. I asked six believes - three guys and three girls - a series of questions regarding living for God:

  1. Do you think the "selfish" millennial culture makes it difficult for people to be receptive to Christianity and the presence of divine intervention? If so, within which age groups?
  2. How have you learned to live life for God's glory and not your own, and what would you tell fellow millennials to help liberate them to live for more than just themselves?
  3. What is the biggest danger that you have identified from living life primarily for yourself?
Cymelle Edwards, 20, Grand Canyon University Junior
  1. "I don't think it is the self-loving nature of today's culture that makes them so apprehensive to receiving Christianity, rather it is the idea of autonomy and independence, them wanting to depend on themselves. It is difficult to recognize you need help from a higher power and putting faith in someone other than yourself."
  2. "Has anyone ever told you 'don't knock it until you've tried it'? That's my mantra. I tried Jesus. I tried living for God and I never turned back. So...just try him."
  3. "The problem with living for yourself is you don't develop compassion. I honestly don't think you can love yourself fully until you've loved something/someone else. Contrary to popular belief you can't 'love yourself' before loving someone else. And I recognize this is unpopular opinion but it's a Christian's point of view. Because I loved God before I loved myself."
Rachel Moses, 23, Arizona State University C/O 2016
  1. The premise of Christianity is one that is unselfish - from how Jesus and lived and died for us to how we should now live, loving God and his people. I think our culture makes that more difficult to grasp, especially millennials. There is an atmosphere of entitlement that we carry, one that is not in line with Christianity.
  2. Living life for God's glory isn't easy. Our culture is one that is very individualistic, focused on "what's the best for me, myself and I?" I've had to come to the point in my life where I realized that while it might be difficult in the moment, it's so worth it in the long run. I would tell fellow millennials that the only way to live life to the fullest is to live life for the glory of God. When we lose that mindset, we are constantly unsatisfied and keep searching for more in life instead of realizing that we should want nothing more than God and his goodness.
  3. One of the biggest dangers that I've realized is that living life for yourself is incredibly unfulfilling. It's a life that's self-centered and unsatisfying.Ashtaun Kermode, 19, Central Arizona College Sophomore
  4. I do believe that our selfish culture makes that difficult. We are taught, and we naturally feel that we should trust ourselves over anybody else. If we were to admit that our accomplishments were a result of somebody else's power, that would take away from our image. I believe this state of mind mostly effects high school students and young adults in general.
  5. It's not easy to live for God over yourself. The way I learned to live for God first was to think about the end product. Where do my choices lead? You can be rich and famous at the end of your lifetime, but living for God guarantees you eternal life, as well as true happiness. I would encourage millennials to live life for the long-term product.
  6. The biggest danger that comes with living for yourself is that it separates you from God. The further you get from him, the more lonely and depressed you'll start to feel. It's hard to find joy and worth within yourself. However, God will give you that and more. The lowest point of my life so far was during the time when I chose to life live for my own benefit. It's a dark place to be.
Brandon Thomas, 19, Arizona State University sophomore

1. I do think in some ways it's hard because very often the social norm is to look out for one's self which is not what Christianity is. I believe that mindset is present in every age group, but probably more apparent in young adults. That's because as a young adult it's a time where a person is becoming more self-dependent and trying to focus on their life rather than others.

2. I've learned to live for God through experience. I have found that serving others not only brings happiness to Him but to ourselves as well. Serving others and showing them God's love brings meaning and purpose to your life.

3. The biggest danger that I have identified when living for myself was complacency. I find that being around community pushes me to try to become a better man of God. When I live for myself and don't focus on those around me I feel like I stop growing in that aspect and a lot of times I stop caring as much too. I think being complacent in life is truly dangerous.

  1. Yeah I think for most individuals we are taught at an early age to live for ourselves.
    Diana Abanto, 19, Central Arizona College Sophomore
    Especially for millennials - including me - we like the idea of instant gratification, where we want instant results in any given situation. Being in a selfish culture, where we assume we'd be satisfied if we did this career or pursed this relationship or worked for this top-knotch company, can make it difficult to get to know God because, we give other things permission to fulfill us. We've pretty much told God, "no, you can't come into my life".
  2. I was fifteen when God changed my life. I was that individual who pursued things that eventually hurt me emotionally and damaged my self-image. That was 4 and a half years ago. Recently, I have seen that by seeking God more it deepened my desire to give Him glory because I recognize who it is I am serving. If I don't know the one I'm giving glory too, it can be really easy to stray away and do my own thing. When I do, it doesn't take long for me to go back to Him because, I have seen Him faithful in my life and I have seen him love me when I was unloveable. I'd encourage those who have a desire to live for something more than themselves to seek God in your toughest times and let him show you who He is to you. Find and surround yourself with a circle of friends who are seeking God in their lives. Friends who can be honest with you when you're doing something you're not supposed to be. When you're stuck in life, they can be the ones to speak encouragement to you.
  3. Probably the biggest danger I have experienced with living life for me is trusting in my ability to fix myself. With this I can be my own worst critic. I am involve in a youth ministry at my local church and whenever I am leading something I would pick out every wrong that I did. Once I did, then I would find a solution or a different way to be better. This was the mindset I had, to always be better. To be perfect. I realized that in this mindset, I had placed unrealistic expectations on myself. The scary part is this led me to feel shameful and condemned. It made it difficult to give myself grace when I failed. Thankfully, the Lord restored that area in me and showed me how to love the person I am and the person he has created me to be.
Katie Cannon, 29, Arizona State University C/O 2009

1. I think Millennials could be the most receptive generation to the Gospel. We want to fight for a cause. We believe in the super natural and “the universe.” Our parents' generation has left the church because it is kind of dead. That seems selfish to me. I see over and over again millennials who need godly mentors and spiritual parents because the ones ahead of them have been so hell bent on having a program at church. We need those that have gone ahead to guide us. They work so hard to “figure us out” but haven’t ever asked. I think our selfish culture makes it difficult for us to grow and flourish in our Christian faith. The church in Acts ate together and gave each other clothes and worked together. We don’t even invite people over for dinner! While the Gospel is readily available, we aren’t diving into all that it could be. That’s sad. I think we’re afraid it’s going to require giving up too much.

2. Millennials get a bad rap for being selfish. I certainly think we can be selfish and self absorbed- but when they grab on to an idea of service, they run with it! Our generation is the one that birthed companies like Tom’s and caused a surge in volunteer tourism. I think we know that we have it in us to live outside of ourselves- it’s connecting Millennials to opportunities and allowing them to do things that seem different than past generations.
Personally, the more I have discovered who I am as a Christian, the easier it is to live for God’s glory and not my own. The more that I understand that I’ve been created to live in relationship, that God will provide for me, and that I don’t have to depend on myself the more I’m freed up to invite others to do the same. There is a selfishness that comes when I think there is going to be lack or that I will have to go without because I’m giving away. The cool thing about God’s Kingdom is that the opposite happens. When I loosen my grip on my material possessions, it opens up my hands to receive more. And that’s hard because I really like my material “stuff”!

3. The biggest danger in living for myself is not living life in the fullness that it can be lived! There is a depth of relationship with other people that can only come with being vulnerable enough to serve them- and to let yourself be served. I’ve had many opportunities to choose to live for myself, but when I’ve decided to live out side of that is where my best adventures have begun. It’s lonely by yourself and we were meant to live life together!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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