I Broke My Promise to God

If you clicked on this link, I’m sorry. If you clicked on this link, that means you probably felt like it was written to you, and if I was in your shoes, I would’ve clicked on this link, too.

I broke a promise I can’t just undo.

In 7^th grade, I went to a church camp where I really accepted God into my heart. I’ll never forget the moment the weight of the world felt like it was lifted from me. The preacher was talking about how it was never too late or too early to build a relationship with the lord. Something just clicked for me. I started crying immediately as I walked to the edge of the stage with all the other campers to begin worshiping with the band. I truly discovered how unconditional love can be through Christ.

I promised God that night that I would walk with him forever. I promised God that night I wouldn’t let a boy have my body unless he was my husband. I promised God that night I would only do things that made me a better Christian. I promised God that night that I wouldn’t forget to pray every night before bed and each morning when he gave me the strength to get out of bed.

Somehow I lost my way and broke a couple of those promises.

For years after that camp, I became closer and closer to God. It was such a positive time in my life, and I wasn’t ever upset for too long. Somewhere between becoming a high schooler, my parents getting a divorce, and all the changes that come along with growing up, I became someone new. Normally becoming someone new is a really great thing, but this new me was not okay. I would skip youth group to go out with my friends, and I’d sleep through church on Sundays because I would be too tired and sick from the night before. I stopped respecting myself, my family, and most importantly, God. I would go weeks without praying and it wouldn’t even phase me.

My relationship with God became lukewarm.

All throughout high school, I would say “Yes I am a Christian!” I loved talking about how important God and religion was to me. Occasionally, I’d go to youth group and maybe say a prayer before a big test. I tried to find myself again by flirting with guys, going out every weekend, and closing myself off from a lot of the positive relationships I once had. I don’t know how I could claim to be a Christian when I barely even pursued my relationship with God. I was the most lukewarm Christian you could find. I would spend endless hours with one person, and God never seemed to be a topic we’d discuss. I found happiness in that one person and a few others that never seemed to stay in my life- and I still acted surprised when they walked out on me.

Here’s the good news-

Our God is a forgiving God. Yes, I broke some longstanding promises that I am not proud of at all. Although I cannot take back my mistakes, I can forgive myself and seek redemption in the lord. I can make new promises to God and this time, I can follow through on them. I can begin to rebuild my relationship with God, and I can finally be on fire for Jesus again. I can spend my countless hours with God instead of the toxic people I used to devote that time to, and I can promise God I won’t let anyone take advantage of my pure delicacy. I know I will probably continue to mess up sometimes, but the good part is, I will always seek out God.

So if you feel like you’ve broken too many promises to God, remember this- he will forgive you no matter how much you think you messed up if you ask him to.