Whether you're a broke college student like myself or you're visiting and you need a few freebies/ways to save some cash by my sarcastic ass, this is for you.

1. FOOD

If you're a tourist, go get beignets instead of heading over to Commander's Palace. They're inexpensive and I'm sure that's what all of your middle aged facebook friends are telling you to do anyway. If that's not your thing (because it's not mine), find a Rouse's or Robert's and check their remade jambalaya or muffulettas. They're inexpensive and it's cheaper than going out most of the time. It also saves me from cooking.

2. TOURS

Self guided tours are a thing, and I saved you the trouble of trying to find some (just click here.) Also, please don't take a segway tour, not only will it gonna save you around $75 but judgmental looks from a lot of other people in the Quarter.

3. SNOBALLS / SNOWBALLS / SNO-BALLS

I've already touched on food, but these get their own special place on this list because they're my religion. I swear by them. They are a straight gift from God and I will stand by them until the day I die. They're inexpensive, not as messy as a beignet, and they're all over the city. I love these things. Truly life changing.

4. PARKS

Audubon is free. City park is also free (you won't get shot if you go during the day.)

5. THE LAKE

Honestly when all else fails, go the lake front and just sit, DON'T SWIM, but just sit. Put on some jazz, or some New Orleans bounce if you're into that. Think about life, how your dad left, or if you go to Tulane, how you're gonna pay your student loans off. I'll park and sit in my car for hours and read. Just take it in and hope you don't see a shark.

6. DRUGS

Just for fun, don't buy drugs in the quarter. They're overpriced and terrible quality (not from personal experience, I've just been told. Also, if you're looking at a broke guide to NOLA why are you gonna spend money on drugs?)