Have you ever noticed that the cuisine our culture promotes is some of the unhealthiest stuff on this planet? It comes from animals that are underfed and meat that is over-processed.

Despite the health risks of this “fast-food” or just plain unhealthy food, I cannot eliminate it from my diet. It’s my taste buds’ fault. Really, it is. I’ll explain it to you:

Food that is bad for me tastes good to me.

Isn’t that tough? I constantly wonder why the things that are best for my body taste so bad to me. For instance, I want to love frozen spinach, and kale, and chia seeds, but I just don’t. As a result my diet looks a lot like an upside-down food pyramid.

This, however, is not exactly the point of my article.

Last evening I went to Applebees to enjoy some half-priced appetizers after 9pm. I was ecstatic. I happen to love their boneless BBQ wings and spinach artichoke dip, both of which are half-priced! I was so excited that I even skipped dinner that evening in preparation for my late-night feast.

Finally, after waiting what seemed like ages (it wasn’t quite that long, the service was good) my food arrived at our table. The waitress carefully set my order of wings and artichoke dip in front of me and I was instantly overtaken by the savory aromas.

It did not take long to polish off the artichoke dip and I quickly moved to the wings. Every bite was filled with incredibly delicious flavor. It was like my taste buds had been taken on their dream vacation and brought me along for the ride.

In just fifteen short minutes my meal was coming to a close. I was satisfied, and all I had left to enjoy was my celery. However, there was hardly any celery. Sitting next to a small bleu cheese dipper sat three small, shriveled pieces of celery. It was like they had cut one small piece into thirds and then served that. Worse, the celery was not even crispy. Did someone decide to microwave all the celery before placing it on the platter? What was I going to do? Everyone knows that celery is the perfect complement to a delicious plate of wings. Who can deny the importance of this tasty stalk?

Celery brings a much needed splash of color to any wing platter. Additionally, I have heard that celery is one of the few foods that our body actually burns more calories digesting than it receives. That means celery has negative calories! A real bonus for anybody who has just downed 1,200 calories worth of chicken wings. If nothing else, enjoying celery after chicken wings makes me feel just a little bit better about what I have just eaten.

Applebees needs to understand the importance of celery to a successful wing platter. Celery is not to be relegated to a mere garnish, but should be celebrated. Please, bring back the celery.