When something tragic occurs, whether that be a death, natural disaster, or a financial burden, one emotion that people too easily put on the back burner is an emotion that one must feel in order to move on in a healthy way. That emotion is allowing oneself to truly FEEL the emotion and own up to it.

"Sitting Shiva" is a tradition for Jewish mourners who have just buried their loved one. This takes place over the period of a week and it is a time where one can actually process through grief. Many, when they think Shiva, think of the coverings of mirrors in order to hide the person's reflection. By doing so they don't have to worry about what they look like and can just grieve.

Through personal experience, I have witnessed many different forms of reactions to hearing that someone close to you has passed. I myself am I one who constantly has to be doing something. Whether that be cooking or cleaning for the family, or being very hands-on with planning. Others may feel sluggish, numb, and so on. But the days leading up to the funeral and after we leave little-to-no room to be upset, or admit we are upset.

Sadly, it's a normal thought that if we cry or show emotion or actually admit to the fact that we are upset, angry, or heart-broken, then we must be weak.

We are always encouraged to stay strong. "Stay strong" seems to be our go-to advice for a family affected by a school shooting or to a community ravaged by any natural disaster or anyone going through a tragic life experience. And yes, in the moment it is important to find strength and hope in what you can in order to just get through it, but what about when it's all over? After all the destruction, planning of funerals, after the fires go out?

So bring back "Sitting Shiva". Maybe it's not for a week, but try to commit to one full day of absolute ugly crying and owning up to your emotions. Anger, sadness, confusion, and even anger at God. You need to own up to your emotions and allow yourself to FEEL.

As a leader in a church, business or government it is far too easy for one to feel as if they must be "super human". That they aren't allowed to feel.

As a Christian, one widely held misconception about grief and faith is that one is not allowed to cry or yell at God or question His plan. Yes, we can indeed trust in God's plan for our life even when we have absolutely no idea what that is, but something you must understand, dear reader, is God can handle it! He can handle hearing your angry words at him and your laments. He can handle it.

"Sitting Shiva" is an idea that is incredibly beneficial to everyone dealing with tragedy, but a huge point of "Sitting Shiva" is that after this time you begin to move forward and begin to find hope in God's plan and His love and faithfulness towards us. It is not an event that is meant to last forever. While we still may grieve, we move forward. You are not alone, my dear reader, I have your back.