Britain has made a decision. I know at least that much, and since I’m on the Internet, that means I can share my opinion (yay)! I also wanted to write about the band Twenty One Pilots since their new song “Heathens” just came out, so I’ll see if I can work them in a little here and there. (Understatement.)

"All my friends are heathens"

Twenty One Pilots’ new song “Heathens” starts by saying all the singer's friends are heathens. This can be a little startling. I mean, what’s a heathen again? Pretty sure those people are evil. Hmm. Well, let’s ask Google:

noun derogatory

• 1. a person who does not belong to a widely held religion (especially one who is not a Christian, Jew or Muslim) as regarded by those who do.

Ah. So, any person who is not "one of us" is a heathen. Wait. But the guy just said that all his friends are heathens. Why are his friends “heathens?” Doesn’t he see they’re enemies? Does he have any idea what they —

"…take it slow"

(Deep breath.) OK, fine. I’ll try taking things slow. I’ll put aside anger at him for befriending the enemy. I’ll stop worrying about how he's going to get himself hurt trusting them. I’ll take it slow.

"Wait for them to ask you who you know"

Why do the heathens want to know that? That doesn’t make any sense. I tell you, though — I want to know who they know.

If we're not on the same side, then why? Just tell me, and I’ll show them how we’re not really that different. I can show them a better way. I -- I guess I know deep down that they’re not bad, really; they’ve just been misled.

But why did the singer say “wait for them [the heathens]” to ask who I knew?

"Please don’t make any sudden moves"

OK, OK. I heard him the first time. “Take it slow.” They’re friends. Don’t hurt them, judge them, etc.— got it.

"You don’t know the half of the abuse"

They're not abused — they’re heathens! There’s a difference.

And even if they were abused. Well, if they have problems, tough. They can deal with them on their own. We have our own worries to deal with. And they're heathens -- we can't trust them!

(Or so the argument goes.)

The “Heathens” music video takes place in a prison where all the singer’s friends are inmates and he walks along outside cells, glancing in. The trick at 1:00, though, is that just as he’s staring into a cell, the lighting switches a bit, and he finds himself inside a cell.

Himself. Inside a cell.

He is being punished for having committed a crime. But what did he do? He was just looking in the cell. He was just looking at the heathen.

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no.

So you’re saying that when you judge a person to be heathen, you become a heathen yourself? I’m not sure I’m buying. Hey! And what happened to Britain? You promised me Brexit, not 600 words on a band! How can judging a group of people with beliefs different than my own have anything to do with the UK deciding to leave the EU so as not to deal with immigrants seeking asylum?

Oh.

[Now, readers, I want you to remember that I could have ended things pleasantly there by siding with the general opinion of social media, but for some reason I feel obliged to play fair.]

So Britain should have voted Remain? They should have, with open hearts, accepted the thousands fleeing their country and simply taken them up into their economy and homes?

[*sighs*] I’m not saying that. I think ...

Oh, so you think Britain should have voted "Leave?"

[*sighs with greater exasperation*] I’m not saying that either. I think...

Well, what are you saying? I’m not getting very much from...

Will you let me finish?! I’m saying that I, personally, am uninformed on the matter. But there are people who are informed — whether by truths or lies, propaganda or facts, noble-but-risky hope or practical-but-dangerous fear — who honestly do care. Some voted Leave. Some voted Remain. Neither are heathens.

Or both are. That is, if judgment of heathens means more than listening to people.