Almost everybody has experienced some sort of breakup in their lives. Whether it's a long-term relationship coming to an end or a short-lived fling abruptly stopping, rejection hurts. Your life is suddenly going through drastic changes, and it can be overwhelming. You might not know what to do, or how to cope. Everybody handles things differently, but here are some suggestions of dos and don'ts after a breakup.
Do: Rediscover who you are
If you spent a long time with your ex, chances are they somewhat defined your preferences. You owe it to yourself to do some soul searching and discover new hobbies that don't include memories of your ex. Reinvent yourself, get a haircut, wardrobe update, or whatever you need to detach yourself more easily. Feel confident and fresh without them.
Do: Think about what you gained or learned from this relationship
If you spent years with a manipulative person, it can be easy to think: what a waste of time. But it's healthy to stay positive during such a vulnerable state. Try to pick out a few good things instead of only focusing on the negatives. If anything, this ex could've shown you what you DON'T want in a life partner.
Do: Go to those closest to you for support
You don't have to deal with a breakup alone. It's okay to ask for help to get through this. Go to your friends and family; let them comfort you. They'll be more than willing to offer as much support and advice that you need.
Do: Give yourself a chance to heal
Take time. You definitely can't get over a breakup in a day, a week, or even a month. It's too difficult to just revert back to normal after a big piece of your life has left. You can go on existing without your ex. But you really just need time to completely get over someone. It will get better.
Do: Have fun
It can be easy to become so sad and lonely without them. Because of that, having fun is the most important and therapeutic thing you can do when getting over a breakup. Go out and live life! Don't rely on anyone but yourself to make you happy.
Don't: Trash talk your ex
This is a way to let out anger towards them. However, you should ask yourself: what good will this do for you? How will this help you in the long run? Sure it might feel good at the moment, but BE A BETTER PERSON!! Speaking so poorly of someone all the time might just end up making you look bad.
Don't: Immediately rebound
Rebounding might seem like an obvious option. Try to think: why are you really doing this? There has to be some underlying issue. It's probably because you miss having that comfort and presence that your significant other gave you. Give yourself some space and respect.
Don't: Turn to something dangerous to fill the void
Your ex left an empty space in your life. Whether you're happy to be done with them, there is still a hole. So many people fall into a cycle of depression after a traumatic breakup and don't know how to handle it. They turn to a dangerous alternative. Similar to rebounding, substance abuse is somewhat common after a breakup. Don't let your ex sabotage your life more than they already have!
Don't: Cut yourself off from the world
Just because things didn't work out, doesn't mean you also have to breakup with everyone else around you too. It can be hard, but get up and go out and be active! Have fun and take your mind off things. Sitting in your room isolated will only make you think about things that much worse.
Don't: Think about what you could've done differently
This is the most important! What's done is done, and you can't change the past. It's so easy to say to yourself, "If only I didn't do this" or, "If I just did this one thing differently we'd still be together." That will honestly make you sadder. Don't dwell on the what ifs. Don't fantasize about futures or different scenarios. Go make a future for yourself that doesn't include "if only's." Forget about them. If they let you get away, they're so not worth any more of your time and effort.
