Have you ever been torn between staying friends with your ex on social media so you can stalk them every once in a while, or maybe once a day, or deleting them all together from every site you can possibly think of, even LinkedIn? There’s never a surefire way to move on from a breakup; each person does it differently and that’s okay. It seems like in the world today, absolutely everyone is on at least one social networking site (SNS) and probably dealt with this to some extent, so what is the proper way to approach a breakup when your ex-lover is clouding your feeds and profiles?

We all claim to have our own special tricks at getting over someone, whether it be hooking up with someone else or eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s, but when social media is involved, it’s a whole other ballgame. Before SNS existed, when you “creeped” on your ex, it literally meant driving by their house in the middle of the night. Social media has taken creeping to a whole other level and made it so you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your own bed. One study found that 70 percent of the participants had found other means to stalk their ex on social media, such as logging into a mutual friend’s account. That same experiment claimed that the most popular behaviors were “re-reading or overanalyzing old messages or wall posts, being asked about the breakup on Facebook upon removal of the relationship states, and deleting pictures off Facebook with the ex-partner.” A few others were changing privacy settings, posting pictures intending to make their ex jealous, changing their status to a quote or song lyrics about the ex, deleting conversation history, and posting slanderous comments about their ex.

I bet most of you can relate to at least one of these behaviors. If you don’t want to fess up, I’m sure you at least know someone who has.

As technology advances, it only makes sense that what we do online affects what we do off-line and in real life. Studies suggest that individuals who view their ex’s SNS profiles and timelines, are hindering their own ability adjust to the breakup and fully complete the relationship dissolution process. Scholars have found that those who claimed to have no Facebook-related behaviors after a breakup, meaning that they do not have a Facebook or they avoided Facebook at the time, reported a higher level of adjustment post-breakup.

So delete your past lover from all aspects of your life. That is what’s going to help you to move on, both quickly and less painfully. Remove them from it all – Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, whatever. If you aren’t seeing what they’re up to and who they’re with, how can you care? So do unfriend or unfollow them, resist the urge to creep, and give yourself a break from social media. I repeat, take a break from social media. I know how difficult that would be for many of us but it’s worth doing in this case! And don’t post crazy statuses or tweets to hurt them or get revenge, don’t use social media drunk, and don’t give them any reason to stalk your page.

Most importantly, remember life goes on and you will be happy again.

For those who may be curious and want to learn more on this topic, read this study. Essentially, we follow the same patterns both off-line and online when it comes to dealing with a breakup. Interesting theories like this make me love my major!