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Dear Writer's Block, I'm Breaking Up With You, As Told By 'The Office'

It's about time we put this to an end.

Abigail Griffin

Mar 11, 2019

Bowling Green State University

882

Dear Writer's Block, I'm Breaking Up With You, As Told By 'The Office'

NBC Universal

1. It's time to let you go.

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The two of us have been together for a while now, longer than I can remember. And in that time, you've been nothing but terrible to me. You've stolen my inspiration and kept my creativity locked away. I used to love writing, but you've made it much too difficult, so it's time to let you go

2. It's not me, it's definitely you.

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I'll admit, it has been fun to have someone to procrastinate with but the fun doesn't last forever. The fun has now been replaced with stress and anxiety at the thought of having to simply write. What am I supposed to do in the meantime with you hovering over my shoulder, following me like a dark cloud?

3. You've kinda ruined my life.

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You took away my drive, my productivity. Having you in my life meant sitting in front of my laptop, endlessly scrolling through my phone, waiting for you to move out of the way, for inspiration to strike. You have kept me isolated, dear friend, keeping me in and keeping me up.

4. You haven't been all bad, though.

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And yet it is still hard to shake you. I have become used to your presence all day long, looking to you when I needed someone to blame for my inability to create. You were a good scapegoat and an easy excuse, so I thank you for that.

5. No new friends.

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I'm still not completely sure why you chose me, though. Did I get a little lazy and you saw that as an opening or did you just decide to prey on the weak? You sunk your claw into and made procrastination and fear my new best friends. I didn't invite them but you brought them along anyway. And if you could pass the message along... I don't want to hang out with them anymore either.

6. You're making this harder than it needs to be.

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You'll be pleased to know that I had to take a break in even writing this, due to the fact that you're still trying to plague every word. Ironic, isn't it? I can tell that you're threatened by the fact that I'm fed up with you so you're clinging to me even harder.

7. Maybe you're right.

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But at this point... maybe I should just let you hang out a little bit longer.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Dear Writer's Block, I'm Breaking Up With You, As Told By 'The Office'

It's about time we put this to an end.

In This Article:

1. It's time to let you go.

2. It's not me, it's definitely you.

3. You've kinda ruined my life.

4. You haven't been all bad, though.

5. No new friends.

6. You're making this harder than it needs to be.

7. Maybe you're right.

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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