Bisexuality is a tricky and outdated term. Many people who identify as bisexual prefer to be called sexual fluid, sexually non-conforming or simply prefer no labels at all. It is a very commonly misunderstood sexual preference. Many straight and gay identifying people do not believe in bisexuality. So where does that leave bisexual people? Not belonging to either group they could fit in with. I know that there is not a lot I can say to convince a gay or a straight person that bisexuality is real except to give a real life example: me.

It’s interesting being a queer identifying person and having other queer identifying people exclude you from their circle simply because of your willingness to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender. It is equally interesting not having your sexuality being taken seriously by your straight family, friends and acquaintances. There are many assumptions made about bisexual people. Some straight people assume they are simply confused or looking for attention, while some gay people assume they are simply afraid to be “completely” gay. When I was in a relationship with a man and I would tell people that I was bisexual no one would take it seriously because I was with a man. Now that I am in a relationship with a women people like to invalidate the relationships I had with men. Most people never even think to ask me. I even get many congratulations for having the strength to be with someone who is the gender I truly want only I am not interested in women exclusively. I understand and respect the people who have gone before me and had to be with someone they could never love but that is not my struggle. I have loved men and I have loved women. I am a bisexual identifying person and I am real.

An important thing to remember whether you are talking to someone who you know is in a relationship with someone of the same or opposite gender is that you shouldn’t assume that person is gay or straight. And you know what? It shouldn’t matter anyway. Assumptions should not be made under any circumstances about any person. I know it can be difficult. I myself can fall into the trap of assumptions. Attempting to not assume the sexuality of a person is just as important as attempting not to assume their gender. It is a changing world, and many social changes can be confusing. I can not fairly ask any person to never make assumptions again but I can have this one hope that before questioning the validity of bisexuality you consider me. Thank you.