BREAKING: Donald Trump Revokes Santa Claus's Visa For U.S. Entry | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

BREAKING: Donald Trump Revokes Santa Claus's Visa For U.S. Entry

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BREAKING: Donald Trump Revokes Santa Claus's Visa For U.S. Entry
Variety

NEW YORK, N.Y.—In the latest example of Donald Trump's "Common Sense" foreign policy, the Great Blonde One has called for a temporary U.S. visitation ban on Santa Claus.

The ban does make sense, however, as many industry insiders believe that Ol' Saint Nick may have connections to radical Islam. Trump proposed this ban at a rally this past Tuesday at a rally in Illiterate, Arkansas.

"I'm not one to speculate, but at a time like this, the country needs to be rational," said Trump. He went on to say, "I have many close friends in the North Pole, and they all tell me I'm doing the right thing. The fact of the matter is Santa Clause has a beard and so do people in ISIS."

While it is hard to argue the fact that Santa has a beard (perhaps an ISIS beard), the controversial ban is not without it's opponents. A recent poll conducted by Kindof Accurate Polling reported that upwards of 100 percent of children are fans of Santa.

In response to his critics, Trump has gone on record saying any child who sympathizes with Santa is displaying signs of radicalism and should be closely monitored.

"It's about time someone put an end to the war on Christmas and do something about all the happy children," said Trump. Despite calling for a ban on alleged ISIS member, Santa Claus, and monitoring all children who enjoy Christmas, Trump's latest poll numbers show a 6,000 percent boost in popularity.

While it should be noted that Kindof Accurate Polling operates within a 50 percent margin of error, they have correctly predicted some stuff before.

Some industry insiders have suggested that Trump's next targets include the Easter Bunny, who he believes has ties to Syrian Oil, and Val Kilmer, who "looks weird."

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