I am reporting from GMU, Fairfax campus, where – apparently – there is a boy who skipped his morning class so he could nap before finals. The boy, a sophomore here at GMU, decided that it would be a good decision to not go to his class so he could sleep in, after studying a ton for finals the previous night. He took the time to let me interview him and here are the answers to the questions that people have been dying to ask.

Me: So what’s it like skipping class?

Boy: It’s okay, he takes attendance so I had to take the L on that one for one class.

Me: Oh so you haven’t skipped class before?

Boy: (laughter that turns into slight crying) no I have skipped a few times over the course of the semester.

Me: You know some people say that you skipped class because you were hung over, how do you respond to these allegations?

Boy: I don’t drink on Sunday nights. The only time I have ever had a drink on a Sunday was when we didn’t have a class on Monday.

Me: So this class that you skipped, was it important?

Boy: It was a lecture class for my major but he takes attendance anyway. It isn’t a required course for my degree, but I need it to have enough upper credits in my major.

Me: What is your grade in the class?

Boy: (Loud sobbing ensues) I’d rather not talk about it.

Me: Do you feel prepared for finals? And was this class one of the finals you decided to study for?

Boy: I feel I am as best as I can be prepared. And no, I have given up on the class as a whole – I just can’t take it anymore.

Me: I see, and you skipping class was to nap because you haven’t slept in a long time, correct?

Boy: That is correct, I spent a long time studying and I just didn’t feel like going to class, let alone one I know that I am going to fail.

Me: What is your major?

Boy: Chemistry.

Me: Wow you must be good at math.

Boy: (Stares with a look of defeat)

Me: So I have one final question.

Boy: Okay.

Me: WHAT ARE THOSE?

Me:

Boy:

Me:

Boy:

Boy: Let me go back to sleep.

The interview, both shocking and revealing, has left students shocked across campus. Fake Name, a student at George Mason, did some catching up with me while I was hiding from the Mason Police. She said that finals were hard, and they were impacting everyone. Fake’s friends were all around campus, cramming and studying.

This is Edmund Pittman, reporting from GMU on Odyssey. Stay tuned for more updates on this story as it comes.