Here I stand, NOT sit, in an old and ugly overcrowded, single decker stuffy NJTransit train with a stranger reading over my shoulder (can I help you, sir?), and this is where I put my foot down. I literally just put my foot down because we came to a screeching stop. If it weren't for you, Snooze Button, I would have been comfortably sitting on the earlier double-decker train with my morning coffee in hand, not looking like Helen Keller did my makeup. I need you to know it's not you, it's me. I really do love you and all that you have to offer, but I need to do what's best for me right now, which means waking up at the time I'm supposed to.
I'm not saying we didn't have good times.
You always understood my wants and needs, and most importantly taught me the basics of procrastination. I'll forever hold your lifestyle's practices near and dear to my heart. Without you, how else would I figure out I only really need three minutes to get ready, and two minutes if I don't plan on impressing anybody? I have you to thank for that. Like the time you had me almost sleep through my philisophy final, that was really a lot fun.
It's like the point in a pregame when you're feeling "good and ready" but still have alcohol remaining in the generic brand water bottle you didn't measure before pouring, you drink it only to wake up the next morning with triple the amount of regrets in the number of shots you took. Similarly, when the option to sleep more was presented to me this morning, just like many previous ones before it, I seized the opportunity and immediately fell back into my slumber. But, as Uncle Ben said, with great power comes great responsibility. I have no power as an intern, so that doesn't really make sense, but I do have a responsibility to bring everybody's coffee be on time.
Although I value all that you have to offer, it's just not something I have room for in my life right now. I'm at a crossroads and things are progressively getting more confusing and complicated each day. I've never looked forward to the weekend so much, so early in the week. Happy hour on Wednesdays helped me get through the first half of the week, but when time comes to venture into a rooftop bar in Murray Hill with my friends to complain about our internships, I can hardly keep my eyes open. Last week I just went home. The weirdest part? I didn't even have fomo.
Until recently, my summer wardrobe consisted of various Nike running shorts, white Hanes, and sports bras with sneakers as footwear. I'd play it up a little each day by rotating headbands and switching up which pair of sneakers. Perfume used was a nice scent of Banana Boat SPF No. 15, mixed with sweat Dove antiperspirant deodorant. If you haven't caught on by now, I'm talking about camp, the place I've spent the last 11 summers of my life. There was no need for you then, Snooze Button, for I was eager to see what the day had to offer.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very pleased where I am in my life right now.
I just need to wake up a little earlier each morning to convince remind myself of that.
If it makes you feel any better, Snooze Button, you're not the only one I've cut ties with. I've deactivated my AIM email account because apparently having letters and numbers in your email address that aren't actually in your birth name is frowned upon in the corporate world.
It's not a goodbye, it's a see you when school starts later.
