I recently had a male friend say to me “I have no clothes.”
I looked at him with wide eyes and a state of confusion. You see, this friend is my roommate. My roommate and I have identical bedrooms. I have stacks upon stacks of clothes on my closet shelves and Jacob (hint, he’s the roommate) lives out of a suitcase and a laundry basket. As I watched him pack for his weekend away, I realized what little items his wardrobe consisted of. I said “Boys’ can go from cargo shorts to jeans, to dress pants. I have jean shorts, athletic shorts, cotton shorts, jean capris, legging capris, leggings, jeggings, jeans, dress pants, skirts, of course, sweatpants…”
Jacob turned around and stared at me “I would be a terrible girl,” he stated.
“I even have to have different types of underwear!” I whine as he folds his boxers.
This all got me to thinking, that, as women, there are standards, rules, and just plain old preferences that make things more complicated for us. Here are the most prevalent ones I came up with.
1. Clothing-
As I stated above, there is so much more to a women’s wardrobe than a man’s. This costs us more money, space (I’m seriously going to take over Jacob’s closet soon) and effort. I wish getting dressed in the morning consisted of buttoning up a shirt, picking khakis or black pants, and slipping on dress shoes. Nope. It is earrings that won’t tangle in your hair, shoes that don’t clash with the earrings, the right undergarments that don’t show through or stick out. Standing in front of the mirror for ten minutes picking which angle you look chubbiest or slimmest from. Dear lord, give me a break.
2. Grooming-
The amount of work that goes into a woman’s “going out” routine deserves an A for effort. I feel as though most of us have our typical routine down to a science. However, keeping our hair, nails, makeup, skin, and clothing at an acceptable appearance is a lot of work. If I want to wear a dress or skirt, I have to keep my legs shaved. If I don’t want to be looked at with disgust I have to work to prevent acne and take care of it when it does pop up. I haven’t worn sandals yet this spring because I think I need a pedicure before I do! Boys can have dirt under their nails, hair growth, not shampoo and condition and let their hair air dry, the whole nine yards without a sideways glance. What would it be like to hop out of the shower, get dressed, and go? (Ahem, Jacob.)
3. Manners-
I will keep this one short and sweet. Boys can fart, burp, blow snot, spit, not say “excuse me” all they want. For a woman to do that is seen as gross, unladylike, or trashy. Well, I’m sorry but sometimes I need to make a bodily function too.
4. Social Media-
Over my dead body would I post a picture that I didn’t edit, edit again, save, make more edits, send to my group message to see which they thought was better, and then wait for prime “liking” time to post. Sometimes my friends and I even delete a picture if it’s not getting enough attention fast enough. Sad? Maybe. Annoying? Most times. But necessary? Probably. Maybe we do put too much pressure on ourselves to look good on social media. But at my age (20) most of our lives waves in and out of social media. Hanging out, meeting significant others (hello, Tinder) and sharing milestones big and small. Posting pictures so we can look back later on. A guy can snap, caption (or not) and post. If they’re cute, the likes will roll in. If not, they don’t look at themselves as ugly or unlikable. Oh, to have it their way.
5. Athleticism-
Unless you’re Simone Biles or Ronda Rousey, no man is going to look at you and think “Wow. She looks strong.” I constantly have to prove that I am capable and willing to do something difficult or manly. Lifting a box, throwing a football (I throw a mean spiral, thanks.) It’s like people automatically assume I need help. Especially because I am short, too. Unless I ask, please don’t step in, or worse, take over. I am a lot stronger than I look and after fighting for my life so many times I take great offense to being called “weak” or “girly.” I was also a great athlete at one point. I can make free throws and layups like no tomorrow, just ask my 10-year-old nephew. I can hang with the best of them (okay well before I ruptured my Achilles.) Don’t equate me to the woman who refuses to get dirt in her hair or risk breaking a nail.
So boys, next time you get ready in 10 minutes and are annoyed at your girl’s half hour, think about the expectations set she feels she has to or wants to achieve. Ask a woman if she would like help, rather than stepping in.
