My freshman year of college I was enrolled in a course called "Speaking of Sex: Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation" and it opened my eyes to how our society places activities, clothing, and other items into what's called a "Hegemonic Gender Norm" For example: "Only boys like dump trucks and only girls like Barbies." I am always on the lookout for examples of this shortsighted kind of thinking in marketing and the media, and unfortunately it appears quite often. Although the worst thing is whenever I hear someone make a comment that continues this kind of unwritten law, to their child.
"How are there only two cashiers working on a Saturday?" I sigh as I lean against the shopping cart; the Kohls' checkout line is unreasonably long today. Ahead of me is a short brown haired boy, probably 11 or 12, accompanied by what looks to be his father.
The chestnut haired boy starts examining a collection of nail polish on a nearby shelf "That's a pretty color," he says rather quietly.
"You want me to buy you nail polish, buddy? You know that's for girls." His father declares in a macho voice. My stomach does a somersault. Am I really in the mood to discuss gender norms with some stranger, or should I just buy my new shirt and leave?
"You know boys can wear nail polish too." I speak up, directing my words toward the man, but making sure to glance down at his son as well.
"Boys can do that too."
"I guess you're right." He says in a deep tone, giving off the air that he is in control, but obviously thrown off. I smile at the child and then turn back to my shopping cart.
"You have any goth kids at your school?" The father inquires. My eyes roll into my head. "Not only goth people wear nail polish." I think.
"Some." The boy replies meekly, blatantly wishing to close this discussion.
"I think that anyone can wear nail polish if it makes them happy. No matter if you're goth or not." I say and turn to the little kid. He turns away from me and his father is silent.
"Will that be all, sir?" The cashier's question shatters the awkward silence enveloping the two strangers and me. "Oh yes, thank you."
This man may never actually agree with me or change his ways, but my hope is that his son won't adopt these culturally warped ideas. We as a society have assigned these items like nail polish, or dolls, or even monster trucks to specific genders. Just because you are a boy does not mean that you shouldn't enjoy painting your nails or sewing. And just because you are a girl does not mean you shouldn't enjoy working on your car or being the breadwinner of your family.
When I raise my children I hope to let them choose what they care to wear and do, because whatever makes you happiest, as an individual, is the most important thing. Our culture has created this stigma that you are either gay or weird if you care for things outside of the norm for your gender, and I think it's incredibly important that we continue teaching America's youth that your happiness is valued over others thinking you're weird.
I hope that one day boys and girls can do what they like and not be stared at for wearing a certain article of clothing or doing a specific activity.
